


Guess you're stuck with me now ;)

by softsoapie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, contains a lot of feelings, contains sexual harassment at the beginning but it ends quick, im bad at humor, jisung and changbin are min's besties, yo wooj is single so hit him up ;)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2019-12-26 02:24:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18273881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softsoapie/pseuds/softsoapie
Summary: Chan. Chan. Chan. Chan. Chan.Okay, they go for a 3 day vacation in the Kim's lodge and Minho swears he'll do anything to stop his stupid crush on dimples and curly blonde hair.Chan seems like the only thing Minho thinks about all day and its getting out of hand.





	1. dimples and curly hair

**Author's Note:**

  * For [megaotaku98](https://archiveofourown.org/users/megaotaku98/gifts).



> I didn't notice how much emotions and feelings this fic has but i tries to kinda tone it down? also it seems kinda rushed sorry :/
> 
> if u haven't read the tags, i suggest u do just in case! also, i barely know much about college cos i'm still in hs lol
> 
> anyway, this is dedicated to the well-known minchan queen who has showed me the beautiful world of Minchan! pls check her work out! Her fics are absolutely amazing rlly good and i always find myself rereading again and again :D
> 
> Anyway, ENJOY!! (also unbeta'd hehe)

_Where are the others? _Minho scanned the sea of bodies for familiar heads that caught his eyes. He pushed his way towards the dancefloor and saw Hyunjin, Felix and Jisung taking the center, drawing eyes on them as the crowd cheered as their limbs fling in fluid motions. He should too, go crazy.__

____

 

Minho decided to get himself a drink. Surprisingly, he hadn’t had one yet. He squished his way to the bar, going through sweaty bodies and barely escaped a girl trying to grind up against him. 

 

Just as he was reaching the bar, seeing a familiar Minghao serving drinks, he was pulled back. Harshly. 

 

A hand circled his wrist and dragged him to a nearby wall. Minho tried his best to wriggle his way out, but the grip was just too strong and he was brutally pushed up against a wall, wincing in pain. 

 

“Ouch! What the fuck, dude?” Minho glared at the man, but his eyes fell in fear as he caged Minho with both hands beside his head and Minho was met with the eyes of none other than his ex. 

 

“Surprised to see me, Angel?” he leaned in and his breath reeked of alcohol. Drunk. Minho wanted to duck and run away, but his limbs didn’t listen to him, paralyzed with the familiar yet horrid face. “I know you miss me, don’t you?” 

 

Minho felt tears pricked in his eyes. He didn’t want this. All he wanted was a nice evening with his closest friends, where they can finally raise their cups and relax freely after midterms. He didn’t want this. 

 

The man leaned towards Minho’s neck, licking and sucking an area. Minho felt so disgusted. His hands tried best to push his ex away, but he felt too weak at the moment. 

 

“No. Leave me alone!” he tried shouting, but it came out as a whimper. The man’s hand traveled down to Minho’s legs and Minho was shaking, agitated with fear. 

 

“Give in, sweetheart. I know you want-“

 

Suddenly, someone pushed the body in front of him away and warm and reassuring hands circled his body to the chest. 

 

Minho didn’t know who it was, but the warmth felt familiar so he held on tightly. 

 

“He told you to leave him alone,” a cold tone attacked Minho’s ex with ice shards. It was Chan.

 

“Aw, come on, baby. I know how much you love being tied up in bed,” he tried persuading Minho, which was in no way, working. He approached closer and Chan took a step back, tightening his hold onto Minho. 

 

He finally gave up, clicking his tongue with a “tsk.”. He mumbled “Stupid bitch.” before walking away. 

 

Chan tried to pull away but Minho just held on tighter. 

 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I just want to ask you if you’re okay,” Minho let go and Chan, for the first time, saw Minho in his most vulnerable state, with tears streaming down his cheek. 

 

Chan gave a gentle smile to Minho, assuring him that his ex is gone now. 

 

Minho hugged Chan back, still feeling so disgusted with the way his ex touched him and shuddered. Chan circled his strong arms around Minho again, whispering sweet nothings to calm the boy down despite the booming music in the background. 

 

“Do you want to go back?” Chan whispered to Minho after a few silent minutes. Minho nodded, feeling drained. 

 

Chan texted the others, saying the two will go back first.

 

And the ride back to Minho’s shared apartment was quiet. Minho wanted to hold Chan’s hand. It was warm, it was reassuring. He felt so protected. But he didn’t.

 

But Chan spotted his shaking hands and swooped his hand to intertwine with Minho’s. Minho felt his lungs finally breathing smoothly, finally flowing with ease. It was odd. Because Chan, although in their small circle of close friends, wasn’t that close to Minho. Established as friends, but not much more than that.

 

Chan accompanied him up the elevator and to his door, saying how he just wanted to make sure Minho felt fine. 

 

When it was time to say goodbye, a small part of Minho wanted for Chan to stay. It sounded ridiculous in Minho’s head, so he didn’t ask for it. What Chan had done for him tonight was more than enough, it was just Minho being selfish for wanting more. 

 

And just before Chan could go back to the lift after their exchange of goodbyes, Minho called on Chan quietly. 

 

“Can you…can you not tell anyone?” he knows Chan wouldn’t, but a small part of him just wanted confirmation. “Especially Changbin.” 

 

Chan nodded reassuringly, a promise smile played his lips. 

 

 

3am into the night, Minho opened his phone.

 

**Minnie Min – 3:08am **  
_Thank you Channie hyung <3 ___****

****____ ** **

****____ ** **

 

***

 

Suddenly, everything with Chan became a little different. 

 

Only on Minho's side, though.

 

***

 

Since when did curly hair, dimples, and pearly smiles became so much cuter?

 

His eyes stayed on Chan while the older was studying. They were in the library preparing for their chemistry test, but really, it’s just Chan studying. How could Minho study when a hunk of a Chris sits in front of him like that?

 

“Is there something on my face?” Chan asked, an eyebrow raised. 

 

“Huh? Oh, what? No, no, no,” shit, he’s been caught. 

 

“Are you okay?” worried tone in his voice.

 

“Yeah, why?” that was a lie.

 

“You’ve been out of it these couple of days,”

 

“Have I? Must be the thesis I’ve been struggling with,” that was only about half the truth but at least he didn’t lie. 

 

“Is there anything I can help with?” gosh, why does he have to be so nice?

 

“Channie hyung, you’re already busy enough that you don’t get enough sleep,”

 

He rolled his eyes “Don’t try to change the topic, but anyway, if you need something, you can always come to me, yeah?” and it was that smile that made Minho weak.

 

“Me? Needing help? Never heard of her,” he actually needed a lot of help but no one needs to know that.

 

***

 

“The Kim brothers apparently have a surprise to tell us today,” Changbin brought out as he and Seungmin joined the nine around the table.

 

“So, we’ve been thinking about this for a while,” Woojin started, pouring dressing into his salad. “We have a lodge, some of you know, near the beach, but in a somewhat secluded area. Since we have that sudden construction on most of the campus buildings till Tuesday or Thursday…” the group seemed to have a hint at where the eldest was going “If you guys don’t have plans, wanna go this Friday? Seungminnie already got some things planned out,”

 

Minho piped in “I have plans, but I’ll definitely cancel it if it takes me a whole inch away from college,” Hyunjin and Felix nodded in agreement. 

 

“I didn’t know you guys have a lodge. How often do you guys go there?” Chan asked.

 

“About once or twice every year,” 

 

“Wait, are you sure it’s okay for us to stay there?” Jisung asked with a mouth full of ramen. 

 

“Manners, you heathen,” Jisung just shrugged. 

 

“Oh my gosh, this is so exciting!” Felix said in English. “Pretty sure Professor Jung is annoyed by me as much as I’m annoyed by him. A good break could let out some steam,”

 

“It’s a good bonding time too, we haven’t been able to hangout in a while,” Chan stated. It’s true. Unfortunately, all nine are busy with their own things that it’s hard to find time to spend it with each other. That’s what college does to you. 

 

Luckily enough, they all could go. A few days after, they had a discussion on the things they had to bring along and planned out the trip well so they won’t have any problems later on. 

 

This was good. Minho could get some time off to think properly. But, he also didn’t like to think much because it just leads to overthinking (something not many know he was even capable of doing because, well, this is Minho). 

 

He’ll be alright. 

 

Hopefully.

 

***

 

His flirt game has definitely faltered a little. He didn’t notice at first, it was actually the others who told him, specifically the rest of Danceracha. Minho couldn’t believe it at first. He’s the best at flirting. If someone were to challenge him, he’d always stay at the top till the end, no matter how silly it sounded. 

 

Maybe he needed another hook up to clear his mind. 

 

So, he contacted one. It didn’t end up well, though. 

 

Minho may or may have not moaned Chan’s name as he was chasing his release. And you can probably guess how it ended from there.

 

He drew a line. From that he could see how hard he’d fallen. And boy, does he fucking hate it. If he sleeps with anyone else again, he knows it’ll probably end up the same way it did with this one. He couldn’t do that to those hookup dates, nor himself. He’d just be using them to help himself get rid of his petty feelings, which, one, didn’t work, and two, is a heartless act. 

 

And also a huge mood killer.

 

But number two is worse, because using people, even if feelings weren’t involved, is something Minho could never do. It indirectly reminds him of his exes and that would be the last thing he wanted. 

 

This was getting out of hand and Minho barely had any control over it.

 

***

 

**Minhoe – 10:47pm **  
_I have a crisis and I’m coming over ___****

****____ ** **

****____ ** **

 

Minho had spare keys so Changbin just stayed in place on his bed.

 

“Binnie, how do I get rid of these… these feelings?” Minho trudged into Changbin’s room with an annoyed tone and sat directly in front of the younger who was on his phone texting his boyfriend. It was odd to see Minho saying something so straightforward. Wait, scratch that, it isn’t really. But when it comes to his personal feelings, it’s unusual. But then again, this is Lee Minho we’re talking about. Minho could say the most random things at the most random times.

 

(But then _again _, since it’s his personal feelings, he’s being serious, which means that it’s taking a huge toll on him.)__

____

____

 

“Uh-huh, sure,” Changbin replied half-heartedly, clearly not paying attention. 

 

“Pay attention to meeee,” Minho whined. It took a minute to get the smaller boy off of his phone and Minho had to repeat the question.

 

Changbin thought carefully. “I don’t think you can just _get rid _of these feelings, hyung,” he placed his phone on the bedside table.__

____

____

 

“Then, what am I supposed to do?” he maneuvered himself so that he was lying on Changbin’s lap. 

 

“Minho Hyung, do you think you chose these feelings or these feelings chose you? I don’t think you fall for someone by choice. What do you think?” Minho stayed silent, seemingly deep in thought with Changbin’s words, because he was right. These feelings chose him, not the other way around. Can you really choose the person you fall in love with? It just dawns on you right there and then. How long has Minho been a lovesick idiot? Like two or three months now? 

 

He didn’t think he’d ever say love again, as dramatic as it sounds. He knew at one point how much he liked Chan, but now he’s here fully knowing he absolutely loves Chan. Crazy how much it has affected him. 

 

Minho is afraid. He’s _scared _. His past relationships mostly began with the other party confessing and Minho developed feelings along the way or Minho sensing their feelings that got him confessing his feelings because he was confident. It’s different with Chan. Chan is hard to read. He cares about everyone and fills anyone with happiness when he smiles.__

____

____

 

“I wish these stupid, sappy feelings could suck my dick, Bin. I don’t know what to do. I want to care for him as a friend, like I always have, but it’s getting harder and harder,” he whined.

 

Maybe he really should confess so that he could get rejected and actually move on.

 

Changbin stroked Minho’s brunette hair. This must have something to do with his exes. It never occurred to him how much Minho was keeping it in, but it was dangerously scary. He doesn’t know how Minho does it. Whenever he’s feeling sad, Changbin would always go to one of the boys for comfort, it always made him feel better and forget the previous steam.

 

“That jerk fucked me up so badly and now I’m so afraid of feelings,” Minho pouted “ _I’m afraid to love again _,” he whispered, enough for Changbin to hear clearly, clearly enough to hear his voice crack. It hurts him to hear his hyung like this. If he was being truly honest, he was shocked seeing Minho like this. His usual demeanor was tough, calm, collective, and bold. He sounded so close to crying, seeing as tears welled up in his eyes.__

____

____

 

Still, even after a year and a half, he couldn’t recover. He’s not ‘fixed’, still a broken. And now, it’s a permanent fear for him. After a year and a half, Minho could have still held the hurt in, but because his feelings for Chan has slowly been increasing day by day, his shell cracked. 

 

Changbin has been worried about that, because he knew how much his last ex affected Minho (and another before that), but the older never says anything about it. His nature took a 180 turn and it scared Changbin, but he learned to accept it because events like this can change people in the most unexpectable ways. 

 

“Shh, hyung,” he stroked Minho’s hair, letting the older soak his shirt with the salty tears. Not that he cared, he can buy another shirt. “Let it all out. You’ve been holding in for far too long,” and that just made Minho give up on holding the tears back, because crying lets out the damn of emotions you hold onto. You hold an ocean of emotion because you’re afraid to be weak. And that’s very Minho like. After all, he is one of the oldest in their group of close friends, so he would be the one to care for the youngers, not the other way around. He won’t even show this side of himself to Woojin, and don’t even start on Chan, for obvious reasons. 

 

He’s aware that Minho does not care about what people say when he sleeps around. It’s a good stress relief after all, so he’s the one getting an advantage. 

 

But lately, Changbin notices how less Minho has been sleeping around, and how much more his eyes lands on Chan when the older doesn’t look.

 

“Hyung, you can always confess to Chan whenever you want,” he tells the older in his arms.

 

Minho let out a strained laugh “And risk getting my poor heart rejected? Yeah, that’s a fat no,” he sniffed. 

 

“What if he likes you as well?” Minho gave him a look.

 

“Why would he like someone like me? There are way better people out there than me,” the oldest excuse in the book.

 

“You’ve been sleeping around less lately. When’s the last time you went on a hookup date?” usually, Minho would go for once a week, or twice if he has more free time, but now…

 

Minho sighed “I don’t know. Maybe like three weeks ago?” 

 

Oh, wow. That’s a record.

 

“Tell me, how much do you like him? What do you like about him?” because it’s rare for Minho to ramble about the things he like, even if he did, it would just be about dance. But he secretly likes to talk about things till no end. He was fascinated with a lot of things, but he didn’t express it, he never saw the point in it.

 

“Oh, Bin. I’m in love with him, utterly, hopelessly in love with him,” he showed a sad smile to the younger. “I mean, how could anyone not fall for those dimples? For those soft curls? For his chiseled and perfect face? It’s unfair really, that someone like him exists. It should be illegal,” Changbin laughed. He’s aware how good looking Chan is, but he thinks Hyunjin is a lot cuter (obviously).

 

“Don’t even get me started on those veins, gosh, it turns me on so badly.” Changbin playfully slapped Minho’s arm, getting Minho to giggle. “Not just that, but he’s so talented. He’s caring. He’s helpful. He’s fucking good at everything, even goddamn ballet,”

 

“Even decorating coffee,”

 

“Even decorating fucking coffee, this is absurd. Ugh.” Thankfully, Minho has calmed down, not crying anymore, a few sniffles here and there but that’s all. 

 

“I thought that I could hold off till I graduate, but then, Chan appeared out of nowhere. Poof!” he motioned with his hands in the air. But then again, since he works close with Changbin with their music, they would’ve met, nonetheless. “And then he comes at me with those dimples. At that moment, I wanted to poke his dimples,” 

 

“You’re disgustingly in love, huh,”

 

“Says you. You eye fuck Hyunjin all the time,” he got him there. “I think I ruined your shirt with my tears and snot,”

 

“I have plenty of other shirts,”

 

“Thanks Binnie, baby Binnie,” he squished the younger’s cheeks. “You’re the best,”

 

“Took you long enough to realize,”

 

“Can I sleep here?”

 

“Since when do you ask? Of course you can sleep here,” they repositioned themselves for a more comfortable position, with Minho’s head on Changbin’s chest as he hugged the smaller like a koala.

 

“Thanks a lot, Binnie. I mean it. I know I always tease you and make fun of you but I trust you the most,” 

 

“You should be thankful. You’re a handful. I have no idea how I’ve dealt with you for 12 yea-ow!” Minho pinched his stomach lightly. 

 

“Goodnight Binnie.”

 

“Goodnight hyung, sleep well. I hope the bed bugs bite you,”

 

“Ew. You have bed bugs?” 

 

“Sleep, you heathen.”


	2. how to get you out of my mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, i never realised how much feelings this has, but i was in soft minchan hours and i couldn't help myself :( 
> 
> (Plus kinda slightly projecting myself in a way? but no one needs to know that)
> 
> Anyway, Enjoy!

It was finally the day of the trip. 

 

“Aight, kids. We’re taking two cars. Chan and I are driving and we’ll split in two and meet up in checkpoints till we get to the lodge.” Woojin instructed. 

 

The rest were placing their luggage on the ground, having to decide who gets in whose car. They were still half-asleep, well, most of them. Jeongin already placed his bags in Woojin’s car, beckoning Seungmin to do the same. Woojin was a second faster though.

 

“I’ll take Jeongin, Changbin, Jisung aaaand-,” Woojin scanned his eyes, catching Minho’s who’s looking at him with pleading eyes. Woojin got it. “-and Minho,” Jeongin sighed, scrunching up his nose because his boyfriend couldn’t follow. 

 

“But hyuuuung, I want Seungminnie hyung to come with us in your car,” he pouted, trying his best to make Woojin fall for his antiques. 

 

Woojin only shook his head. His order stands tall and broad. Jeongin groaned in defeat. He’ll see Seungmin soon anyway. 

 

“I’ll take the rest then,” and Woojin could see at the corner of his eyes how Chan’s smile a moment ago faltering.

 

“Y’all really had to split Felix and I up, huh,” Jisung piped up.

 

“If I didn’t, you two would be in each other’s faces the second we get in the car,” he wasn’t wrong, and both Felix and Jisung knew that. 

 

They all loaded their luggage and bags onto the assigned cars. They dreaded, having to split up and go for a full three hours without seeing the other. Hyunjin kissed Changbin’s forehead and gave him a warm hug before separating. Jisung peppered kisses onto Felix’s face and in return, Felix gave the one day older boy a bone crushing hug. Seungmin secretly gave Jeongin a peck on the cheek before leaving a blushed Jeongin in the car. 

 

Woojin almost gagged as he buckled his seatbelt, checking the rear view mirror to see the youngers already buckled up. Woojin began driving, leading the other car to their destination. Minho took shot gun. 

 

“Thanks, hyung.” He whispered so that only Woojin could hear. Woojin smiled in return. Unrequited feelings were never his cup of tea. It was no one’s. 

 

Minho took out his earphones, plugging them in his ears and placing his chin on his hands as he admired the view outside the window. 

 

The two should really do something about it.

 

***

 

Once they arrived, Seungmin leading the way to the vacation lodge his family owned whenever they came here for the summer, they all unloaded their stuff into the said lodge. 

 

It was _huge _(Cue Donald Trump’s voice).__

____

____

 

They had to be reminded how big and loaded Seungmin’s family is. Seungmin was the middle child, Woojin as the eldest sibling, 2 older sisters, younger twin sisters, and a little brother. Which made 9 in total, including their parents. There were six bedrooms

 

They had to assign bedrooms but the millennium line and Changbin raced to the balcony where it had such a breath-taking view of ocean. Truly, the interior of the lodge is beautiful. It looks cozy and warm. The living room had three leather couches, a 55 inch television, a fireplace on one end and a dining room beside. The other three planned out their assigned roomies. The couples were going to go end up rooming together anyway: Hyunjin with Changbin; Jisung with Felix; Seungmin with Jeongin. Which left Woojin, Chan and Minho.

 

“I’ll be sleeping in my own room. My parents room stays clear since they have some stuff there, but otherwise, all the other rooms are pretty empty with a few clothes in the closet.” The eldest of the three stated. 

 

“Do you want to room with me, Min?” Chan asked. How could he refuse? He nodded to the question.

 

“So, Jisungie and Lixie will stay in Yeri and Dahyun’s room, Binnie and Jinnie will stay in the twins’ room, Seungmin and Innie will stay in Seungmin’s room, of course, and you two will stay in the guest room, that alright with you two?” the both nodded.

 

“Alright, that settles it. Seungmin!” he called. The called boy came by to his side and Woojin told the roomie arrangements. “Can you lead them to the rooms?”

 

“Sure, and we also have to get groceries since the only thing left here are spider eggs,” 

 

“We’ll go after we’ve settled out stuff.”

 

***

 

Seungmin and Hyunjin collected the blankets and pillows from each bedroom. They were preparing to watch _Your Name _, a famously known anime movie. None of them had watched it with the lack of free time. Not even Jeongin who _loved _movies with a passion (he planned to be a director one day). They’ve heard all around how great this movie is.____

_____ _

_____ _

 

“Just in case!” Jeongin warned, placing two boxes of tissues on the coffee table.

 

Jeongin, Jisung and Woojin were trying to build a mini fort at the living room. The rest of 3racha were plugging in the movie Chan had thankfully downloaded on his computer. Felix helped Minho in the kitchen preparing Minho’s famous ramen recipe that all boy’s noses always hunted for. 

 

They were all thankful for this break. College is a deadweight on your shoulders and to have it lifted off, even for a moment, is more than one breath of relief. 

 

They all got comfy as they gobbled -with a warning to not spill anything on the furniture from Woojin- their ramen, enjoying the movie. Laid in the fort was the eldest of the nine, the youngest hugging his arm. Jisung and Seungmin were cuddled up on the floor with a blanket draped over them. Hyunjin, Changbin and Felix squeezed into a couple couch. Despite Minho’s best efforts to secretly avoid Chan, he finds himself sharing the other couple couch with the older.

 

Even with the crazy animation quality the movie had, Minho’s eyes were still distracted by Chan. Fortunately, Chan didn’t notice, eyes glued to the movie. He wanted to cuddle with Chan, just like the rest. He also wanted to run his digits through the soft blonde hair. Usually, his confidence and shameless attitude would have no problem, but he overthinks a lot. 

 

But Chan likes to cuddle so what’s the worse thing that could happen? He lifted his legs and placed it over Chan’s as he leans against the armrest. Nothing too extreme. Intimate enough to label ‘friends’, right? There he goes, overthinking again.

 

Chan’s hands brought Minho’s legs closer to his body and he leaned his head onto Minho’s shoulder. What a nice feeling. He lets himself stay in the moment as he leaned his head onto Chan’s. Minho was feeling really cuddly tonight, so he hugged one of Chan’s arm. The position may have looked a little awkward, but Minho felt comfortable. He hoped Chan did too.

 

“I’ll probably never shut up about the animation,” Jeongin said out loud when the credits rolled in. He stretched his back as he got up.

 

“I really like the way it ended. It leaves us wondering and imagining our way of their ending,” Seungmin added. The others agreed. He pried a sleepy Jisung off of his arm and lead the millennium line towards their assigned rooms. Minho did the same with Chan. He looked half-asleep already and it shouldn’t have been so cute. Minho almost cooed. 

 

A chorus of ‘goodnights’ and ‘sweet dreams’ echoed through the empty living room. Minho helped Chan into his bed and brought the covers up. He wished Minho a sleepy goodnight and Minho mirrored the same words with a fond smile.

 

***

 

He tossed and turned. His thoughts from the night with Changbin kept filling his head on the words that he spilled to the younger comes pouring out of his mouth. 

 

He would try to go take a stroll outside with the possibility of tiring him so that he could sleep, but he remembered what Seungmin said about the night being a party for dangers. He didn’t want to take the risk. 

 

He rolled onto his side, facing Chan who was emitting light snores in the dead of night. His back facing Minho. Maybe the presence of Chan is the reason why he couldn’t sleep, but he refuses to think that. 

 

Sigh.

 

It’s not fun falling for someone and not being able to do anything about it. He should be distancing himself from the older, doing his best to get rid of those stupid feelings. He should have done so months ago, but here he is, regretting his didn’t.

 

What he shouldn’t be doing is getting up from his bed and walking to Chan’s bed. 

 

What he shouldn’t be doing is lying beside Chan, bringing the comforter to wrap his body.

 

What he shouldn’t be doing is gently wrapping his arm around Chan’s torso. 

 

But fuck it. 

 

He’s probably going to regret it in the morning, but he swears that after this whole trip is over, he’ll distance himself and reduce the time his sees and hangs with Chan. 

 

But there’s a problem there. 

 

Because Chan is smart and he would immediately voice out the issue when he senses it, which means he would ask Minho if there was something wrong and he would worry as well. And that’s the last thing Minho wants Chan to be. Worried. 

 

But then again, Chan worries regardless. Whether you’re alright or not, happy or sad, frustrated or tired, etc. It’s just in his nature. So, Minho needed a thought out excuse that could possibly lessen the older’s worry. 

 

He could say that he’s seeing someone. But then there’s a possibility that Chan and the others would want to meet this (non-existing) someone, so that won’t work.

 

He could say that he signed up for that art program that he’s been tempted to for a while. This might work.

 

He feels his eyes starting to droop. The tiredness finally giving in. They had plans to go somewhere in the morning, and they all had to wake up early in order to get to their destination at the right time. Looking over his phone, he only had about 4 or 5 hours of sleep left. 

 

His arm that’s hugging the older tightens. Minho is aware that Chan is a heavy sleeper once he falls into slumber. But it’s just an awful reminder that Chan isn’t his, and that leads to the ache in his chest that he wishes he’s not so familiar with.

 

He inhales Chan’s scent. Even if Chan isn’t cuddling him, the scent alone makes him feel warm and protected, another reminder of how hard he had fallen. Minho tries his best to not cry trying to fall asleep. It’s stupid really. He promised himself countless times that he won’t fall for someone ever since. But whenever he looks at Chan and his perfectly dimpled smile, the promise is forgotten. 

 

He’s so frustrated with himself that he didn’t realize tears came spilling out silently.

 

He doesn’t want to think anymore. Thinking only leads him to hurting ache and rains of tears. So, he feels. 

 

He feels the warmth of Chan’s back against his body. He feels Chan’s chest rise and descend, snoring lightly. 

 

He feels his heart tearing itself, sewing itself back, and tearing again.

 

***

 

The light rays of the sunrise paint the windows of Chan and Minho’s shared room. 

 

Chan feels silky hair tickling his chin awake. He opens his eyes slowly, feeling more warmth this morning than he slept the previous night. He was hugging something, or _someone _.__

____

____

 

It’s been awhile since he’s had such a good nights rest. He looked down to see none other than Lee Minho snuggled up against his chest. He freezes, body stiffening. The blonde doesn’t remember going to sleep with Minho last night. The younger must’ve had a nightmare or something that made him sneak under the covers in Chan’s bed. He lets his body relax, their legs a mess of limbs. His arms were snaked around Minho’s waist, hugging him close.

 

He pulls back a little to look at Minho’s sleeping features. 

 

If Chan wasn’t so close, he wouldn’t have realized the light puffiness that surrounded Minho’s eyes. The younger must’ve had a bad nightmare if so. 

 

But other than that, Minho is absolutely breathtakingly beautiful (and no, Chan isn’t exaggerating). He slowly brings his hand and places it on Minho’s cheek, caressing his cheekbones with his thumb, bringing a dream to a reality. One thing the older has always wanted to do, is this. Always in the movies he watched, the books he read, a moment of comfortable silence where one party wakes up with the other in their hands, snuggled up warmly in a cozy embrace.

 

He looked at the features of the sleeping Minho. His hair was a little disarrayed with the morning bed hair. Chan found it cute. His long jet-black eyelashes fanned his cheekbones with a soft flutter, like a butterfly. The small mole on his nose was always an indication of how much Chan wanted to place a kiss on it. His plush pretty and pink lips emitting soft breaths (Chan catches himself looking at it a second too long). 

 

Minho really is beautiful. Chan has known that ever since his eyes laid on Minho. But now that he’s up close like this, he looked ethereal. 

 

It was hard to believe the younger was cuddled up in Chan’s embrace. For the second time, Minho looked vulnerable. His sleeping figure showing how delicate he is compared to the iron walls his puts up in his usual state. That’s just how Minho is. He would never let down his guard. He has a tough shell because that’s just how he was raised (if he remembered Changbin telling him correctly). And another reason might be his history of exes. 

 

Chan sighed. How could such people hurt Minho like that.

 

Not that Chan knows since he’s never met Minho when he was dating, but from the way Changbin talks about his childhood that had multiple memories of Minho in it, the dancer seemed like a different person when he was in the past compared to the present.

 

Plus, that night in the club.

 

It was still early, Chan checked the clock wall. He didn’t want to get up and risk of waking Minho up. Plus, he didn’t want the warmth to evaporate yet, so he tightened his hold around the younger’s waist, pulling him closer.

 

The sun was still rising, still early. 

 

He placed his chin on the younger’s head, the position he was in when he woke up. 

 

For now, he was going to enjoy the tender feeling of the two cuddling. 

 

***

 

“Hyung! Wake up!” the sound of Jeongin’s voice ringed his ear awake. 

 

“Wha-,” he slurred, voice groggy and unavailable just woken up. 

 

“We’re gonna leave in 15 minutes, hurry up. Minho hyung already cooked breakfast for you,”

 

Minho? He looked down in his hands to see the said boy disappeared. He misses the warmth already. He sighed. 

 

But the delicious breakfast made up for it. At least, a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for good luck, pls look at the pictures this link leads to 
> 
> https://twitter.com/DLM27T/status/1113647009318219776 
> 
> :))))


	3. you make me feel weird yet cared for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to post this last week but i was too busy i'm sorry :(
> 
> Anyway, Enjoy this fluffy mess ig?

Day one: The river.

 

“They call it the Red River because it’s filled with beautiful red rocks and stones. More like bronze, but oh well. It looks a lot better than it sounds,” Seungmin informed as they trudged through the forest. It was a pleasant day. The sun is out, the grass is green, trees stand fresh and Minho is a lovesick bean.

 

He tries to walk as far away from Chan, who was leading with Seungmin at the front while he took care of the back. His mind fumbled with the thoughts he tries his best to keep away. He’s glad that he woke up earlier enough to slip out of Chan’s tight embrace. How he did it? The younger kept the mindset that him pulling away from Chan needs to be a reality, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. 

 

He needed to be careful when he’s avoiding Chan. The blonde is observant, but since he’s like that with everyone, Minho didn’t worry too much. 

 

He would still want to be friends with Chan, but only after he gets over the older. He kept the art program excuse in mind.

 

Waking up in Chan’s embrace, however, was one of the hardest things to do. And he wished that he didn’t wish mornings like that, greeted with soft curly hair and light snores. But he wished it. A boy could dream.

 

Before he knew it, they’d arrive at the river, and it was, as Seungmin promised, beautiful. _The Red River _, the sign read. And as the group changed into their swim trunks, they carefully dipped in the water that was filled with those beautiful bronze and maroon colored rocks and stones.__

____

__

 

“It’s cold. It’s cold. It’s cold.” Jisung complained.

 

Hyunjin laughed. “What kind of dumbass goes righ-” before Hyunjin could properly finish, karma seems to have a weird way with him by making him slip on a slippery stone and having over half of his body submerged in the cold waters.

 

Chorus of laughter echoed through the forest. 

 

Cool wind would hug their bodies once in a while. The younger 5 already came dipping the moment they took off their shirts. Woojin followed along with Chan. Minho tried his very best to not look when Chan took off his shirt. It’s hard when Chan is ridiculously hot and his body had been carved beautifully by the gods. 

 

“Not going in?” Changbin sat next to the older as Minho asked him.

 

“I get a better view here,” he smirked, eyes stuck on Hyunjin like a hawk.

 

“You’ll get to _feel _the view if you were there though,” and with that, Changbin flung his shirt off and joined the rest.__

____

____

 

Why Minho isn’t in the river? Just like his cats, water is a no from him. Plus, he’s sensitive to the cold and the water is freezing. So, he stayed watching over their stuff and admiring the nature around them. 

 

After a while, he decided to walk around the woods a little. The only person noticing him standing up and walking away was Chan, but Minho didn’t see that. 

 

Even if he went far, he’s sure the group will still catch sight of him. He strolled around looking for nothing in particular. He caught a few squirrels that only reminded him of Jisung and continued to trudge along. 

 

He didn’t keep track of the time he strolled, lost in the wonder of the woods. He heard another source of water somewhere and he followed the sound, letting it guide him. He entered a more packed area with trees, but the sound of water got closer. _Another river?_

____

____

 

Since the brunette wasn’t familiar with the area, he couldn’t get too close. But he did anyway. It was worth it though. 

 

Instead of a river, Minho was met by a waterfall. It wasn’t that big in size, but the height of where it falls was tremendous. He wondered why Seungmin didn’t bring them here instead. 

 

He may or may not have been a bit too distracted by the waterfall and slipped on a rock. A wet one. A sharp one. It didn’t result out well. Nope. 

 

He tried standing back up only to fall again. He couldn’t stand. He touched his ankle and it swelled a little as blood dripped from his foot. In conclusion, Minho got a fucking ankle sprain with a side of blood juice. 

 

_Why here out of all places? _He dreaded. Now what is he going to do? He did his best trying to distance himself from the water and rested against the tree. He tried reaching in his pocket for his phone just as he remembered that he left it back at the Red River with his other stuff. Great. What luck.__

____

____

 

He sighed. At least he got a nice view of the waterfall. Then again, who knows what creepy crawlies lurked around the area. Maybe that’s why Seungmin didn’t bring them here instead. Truly, Minho was fucked. He can’t see or hear the Red River from here, and if he tries yelling for their names, the sound of the gushing waterfall will overlap his voice, so who knows how the others will try to find him. Luckily enough, it’s daytime and the sun won’t set anytime soon. 

 

He finds himself thinking of Chan again. Why wouldn’t he? It’s a bittersweet feeling. It’s hard to avoid it when Chris is so dreamy. 

 

Time to go down the memory lane. 

 

Minho had met Chan one night picking up Changbin for dinner. Kind was an understatement to describe Chan. He was generous and caring and Minho respected him a lot as a hyung. It was during a party at Bambam’s house that made Minho realize he was a little more intrigued in Chan than he thought. 

 

The older came to the party dressed in an outfit that made Minho’s jaw drop. His black jeans seemed two or three size tighter than it should be but oh gosh, it hugged his thighs and ass perfectly and snuggly. He wore a black silky dress shirt that had 3 buttons unbuttoned and boy, did Minho ever take off the view of those beautiful collarbone? You can guess the answer. 

 

At one point, they both got drunk and messily made out with each other on the couch. The thing is, Minho remembers that night perfectly. He was drunk, yes, not too drunk though and he remembers the details well. Chan, however, seemed like he didn’t, which for some odd reason, hurt Minho a little, and it shouldn’t have. 

 

Just a teensy bit. 

 

It struck him odd because he’s made out with people a lot of times in parties, whether he was drunk or not, and he was completely unfazed by it, but there was something about Chan that made him think differently. He’s positive Chan doesn’t remember that night. One, because he was insanely drunk, two, he didn’t have a different reaction to Minho when they met two weeks after the party. 

 

He was stuck on Chan, not knowing what to think.

 

When it came to a partnered project Minho had to work on, it included one of the songs Chan made and produced. At first, it seemed kind of easy. He just needed to choreograph the song and turn it in, but that’s where he was wrong. Chan’s voice in the song distracted him a lot. It was sweet, smooth, flowed like water just like his body did when he dances. It dripped honey and had an elegant touch to it. There were some lyrics that were in English, and he tried his best searching for the translation. He knows it’s a sentimental song, which needed a sentimental dance. 

 

Sometimes, he finds himself singing to it too, although he deems himself a shitty singer, he liked his voice next to Chan’s. He smiled at the memory. 

 

There were late night practices where he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep till he got the part perfect, or as good as it can be, at least. He did his best more for Chan rather than the credit. He wanted to make the older proud. 

 

Just as Chan isn’t perfect already, Chan placed a reminder on Minho’s phone, reminding him that he shouldn’t work to a point where he forgets to eat. It was these small thoughts and actions that made Minho realize how loving Chan is. A blessing in a form of a warm-hearted and beautiful man that he questions if he deserves. 

 

It feels like a sin for wanting Chan so much. Minho was selfish, and slightly possessive. He has this horrible feeling in his chest whenever a student at the campus would flirt with the older, which he shouldn’t since Chan is in no way, his. 

 

He hears a stick break from a distance and observes his surroundings. Nothing. The sound of leaves and bushes ruffling made him think otherwise. Panic erupted from the dancer’s stomach. 

 

It sucks ‘cause he can’t walk, let alone stand. He looks around for something to use as a defense and decides to use one of the heavier rocks from the river (not the one that he slipped on though. He thinks it’s bad luck).

 

And as the sound of rustling got closer, Minho got more anxious, lifting the rock in defense for who knows what. It neared, and neared, until it appeared in front of Minho,  
holding an acorn. 

 

A damn squirrel. 

 

Minho sighed in relief. He lowered the rock but immediately raised it up again when he flinched hearing his name being yelled. “Minho!”

 

And he almost, _almost _, slipped the rock from his hands and it almost landed on his thigh. Fortunately, he managed to catch it.__

____

____

 

“Here!” he yelled back. The voice unmistakably belonged to Chan. Did his thoughts summon the said boy? Or was he going delusional and shouting in the woods?

 

“Oh my god, where have you _been _?” nope, he wasn’t delusional.__

____

____

 

Chan really didn’t have to jog up to Minho wearing a white shirt that was translucent from the water and that revealed his rock hard abs, yet he did. Minho wonders how he manages to think about trivial stuff like that when he should be focusing on the main issue: his sprained bloody ankle. 

 

“Are you alright? Did something happen? What’s wrong?” Chan kneeled in front of Minho. Those questions pulled on Minho’s heartstrings. Causing worry was the last thing he wanted, but he ended up doing it. He should’ve never left. 

 

“I, uh, accidently sprained my ankle,” Chan inspected the foot, careful not to touch the swelled area. “I don’t think it was that bad.” being a dancer, he’s familiar with sprains like it’s his bestfriend. 

 

Despite Minho being the one getting hurt, Chan winced at the bloody mess.

 

The older sighed. Minho was disappointed with himself. “Let’s get you back to the lodge, yeah?” Minho nodded, avoiding eye contact. 

 

What he expected was for Chan to bring his hand over his head so that Minho could limp his way towards the lodge, but instead, he turned so that his back was facing Minho and his hands motioned for him to get on his back. Weirdly, Minho got a little shy, but he stood up and got up with the help of the tree he was leaning against. 

 

He wrapped his arms around Chan’s neck and Chan stood up, maneuvering Minho for a better hold and on Minho’s thighs. Even after just swimming and wearing a slightly soaked shirt, Minho feels so warm. Chan’s back against Minho’s body reminds him of last night. His hands felt like fire touching Minho’s thighs, even if he was wearing sweatpants.

 

His hold on Chan’s neck tightened, not till he was choking the older, but enough to have a good hold on it. He leaned his head on his arm and Chan’s head. 

 

“Were you scared? You’re shaking,” he was? Minho didn’t even notice it at first. 

 

He doesn’t think he’s shaking because he’s scared, more so he thinks that he’s shaking because he feels his heart ache so much and feeling kind of nauseous.

 

Why does Chan have to be so kindhearted? Why does Minho have to suffer from these aching feelings? Why is Chan so tender and fond towards anything he does? 

 

He wonders if Chan is just an angel in disguise. Minho doesn’t think he did anything in this life or the past to deserve Bang Chan. 

 

Still, he just nods to the question. Explaining wasn’t an option. 

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner,” Chan apologizes.

 

It made Minho so mad. Why is Chan apologizing when Minho was the one to cause the older burden? _He _should be the one apologizing, not Chan. He hates how amazing Chan is. It’s not fair.__

____

____

 

It’s not fair.

 

He shook his head. “Don’t be,” his voice muffled.

 

The younger wishes he could just disappear into thin air, or dig a hole and burry himself so deep, no one would be able to find him. It’s definitely not the first time he’s felt that, and it definitely won’t be the last.

 

“I’ll help you wrap it. I saw a first-aid kit in the cabinet,” 

 

A whispered “Thank you.” was the only thing Minho could say. If he said anymore, he’d probably be spilling his heart out. He clung onto Chan like a koala, afraid Chan was ever going to leave, knowing he wouldn’t. It’s just Minho being selfish. 

 

“Thank you, Channie hyung.” He felt his eyes droop. 

 

***

 

Minho opened his eyes slowly. He observed his surroundings to see that he’s in the living room lying on the couch with a blanket draped on him. The lodge was mysteriously quiet. He lifted the blanket off himself and tried to stand only to wince in pain. 

 

Right. His sprained ankle. 

 

“Oh, hyung! You’re awake!” Jisung sprinted over from the stairs. He sat facing Minho on the couch.

 

“Where’s everyone else?” 

 

“They went to get some fire wood for the fireplace. How you feeling?” it seemed that sunset was approaching soon. 

 

Minho looked at his wrapped left foot. He shrugged. He’s gotten so many sprains as a dancer, it didn’t affect him much. And it would heal pretty quickly, so he should be good by tomorrow or the day after.

 

“What were you doing far away, anyway?” Jisung asked. Again, he shrugged.

 

“Getting some fresh oxygen…?” 

 

“Our carbon dioxide not enough intoxicating you, huh,”

 

Minho giggled. He had a question in mind he’s been wanting to ask Jisung for a while. It could help him. 

 

“Hey, Sungie? What do you feel when you look at Felix?” Jisung tilted his head in confusion at the sudden question. A question that is unlike Minho to ask at all. He thinks that his foot isn’t the only thing he hurt. “Just answer it,”

 

“Oh, it’ll take me days to-“

 

“Try to make it short, please?”

 

Jisung sighed in wonder. “Well,” he thought deeply. “when I look at him, I feel like I’m flying. His smile lights up my world and I wonder how lucky I got. His laugh is music to my ears and I know a _lot _about music.” He took a second to think again. “When my eyes meet his, I’m on cloud nine,” he ended. He was playing with a bracelet he got from Felix during their birthdays, smiling fondly at it. Minho could only wish.__

____

____

 

“Must be a nice feeling, huh?” 

 

“Do you feel like that with Chan hyung?” Jisung looked up to Minho. 

 

“All the time,” he chuckled. “Is it that obvious?” 

 

“Yes and no. I could read people easily,” right. No matter how dense Jisung looks he really is witty and could read just about anyone like an open book. Maybe he’s grateful Jisung could read him, or how much he cares, or probably both. “Plus, I saw you staring at his ass when he wasn’t looking,”

 

“Have you _seen _Chan?”__

____

____

 

“Do you think you'll ever confess to him?" Minho thought about that question. He shook his head in response. 

 

"I have a hunch he doesn't want to date anyone at the moment." he's seen people drape themselves over Chan, wanting so much for the perfect man to be their boyfriend, but as always, he rejects them, saying how he's "waiting" for someone, or being too busy to date. 

 

"You're in for a surprise." Jisung slyly smiled.

 

Minho was about to ask Jisung what he meant by that when the knob of the front door turned and 7 cheery boys made their way inside the lodge. Jisung jumped up from his spot beside Minho to help with the stuff.

 

He reminds himself to ask Jisung about it later. 

 

***

 

“I thought this was going to taste shitty, but congrats Hyunjin, it tastes really good honestly,” 

 

Since Minho couldn’t walk much (he kind of could but the boys wanted the dancer to heal first), Hyunjin was in charge of cooking since ‘claimed’ he’s a good cook with some help from Changbin. 

 

“My pretty face isn’t the only thing that impresses. But, I made a mess,” the food was good, the kitchen wasn’t though.

 

***

 

It was 1:32 am. 

 

Chan couldn’t sleep. He thought about how he carried Minho back to the lodge. How Minho’s hands circled his neck, having a firm hold, as if afraid Chan was going to disappear that moment. 

 

He got up and looked over Minho’s bed to see the boy no where to be found. He padded out the room and went to the living room. Empty. The kitchen. Empty. He began to panic. The hallway. Empty. Did he went to sleep with one of the other boys? 

 

That’s when he heard someone singing outside at the balcony. Fuck, is that a ghost he’s hearing? 

 

He slowly made his way up the stairs. It was a gentle voice and kind of familiar but he couldn’t put his tongue on it. The song was familiar too. 

 

Chan peeped through the see through doors and could form the shape of Minho’s head. He exhaled in relief. He didn’t knock yet though, wanting to hear Minho sing more. Minho is a dancer, he said it himself that he doesn’t like to sing. He said it doesn’t suit his voice to sing, but it sounds so, so gentle.

 

Hey, it was Chan’s song. _Oh _. It was the one he gave Minho to choreograph. That was 4 months back. He smiled to himself, feeling fuzzy that Minho still remembers.__

____

____

 

Once Minho did stop singing, he waited awhile. 

 

“Knock, knock,” he knocked while sliding the glass door open. Minho flinched and almost yelped, afraid. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Chan apologized yet laughing. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” 

 

“That’s exactly what you did,” Minho brought his legs up to his chest, hugging it. Chan sat next to him on the balcony daybed. Chan saw that Minho was wearing an oversized green hoodie that made sweater paws. _Cute _.__

____

____

 

“You didn’t hear anything weird, right? A dying donkey maybe?” 

 

“Nope,” Chan lied, but a smile played on his lips and Minho grabbed a pillow and threw it directly to his face.

 

“If you tell anyone, I’ll murder you and tell Jisung that it was you who took his grilled cheese sandwich,”

 

"Minho, your voice does not sound like a dying donkey. What an insult to donkeys." Chan laughed. It’s rare to see Minho so flustered but oh, it was so adorable. “Why’re you up, anyway?”

 

“I could ask you the same thing,” he avoided eye contact.

 

“Couldn’t sleep. The usual. You?”

 

Minho looked onto the night beach view. “Just thinking,”

 

“About something?”

 

“Mm, _someone _,”__

____

____

 

“Is this some juice I never heard before?” who could he be thinking off. 

 

“Maybe,”

 

“Can I know who this person is?” he shifted closer to the younger boy, curiosity in his tone. 

 

“Why should I tell you?” Minho had a playful glint in his eyes, having no venom in his tone.

 

“Why not? Does this have something to do with your head being in the clouds lately?” 

 

“Yeah,” he admitted. “I can’t stop thinking about this person,” he smiled. 

 

Chan would be lying if he didn’t feel a slight jealousy, wishing it was him. But knowing Minho, Minho wouldn’t be saying something like that if Chan is the person he was thinking about. “Wanna tell me about it?” 

 

“That’ll only expose who I’m talking about,” 

 

“Do I know who this person is?” God, he wants to know so bad. But then again, doesn’t knowing make it hurt more?

 

Minho only shrugged, leaving Chan questions. He asked one of it. “So, what about this person?”

 

“He’s just really stupid and dumb and insanely gorgeous,” okay, so it’s guy. “It’s those type of people who fill your mind pretty much the whole day,” 

 

_Oh, so Minho has crush._

____

____

 

“I wonder who’s the unfortunate guy,” he joked, which earned a slap on the arm. “Go on,” he laughed.

 

“You’re right, maybe he _is _unfortunate because he has someone like me being a stupid admirer,” Minho’s tone changed. From the sudden wide eyes Minho gave, it seemed like it shocked Minho himself. It made him feel a little guilty saying that.__

____

____

 

“Hey,” Chan immediately went into protective and caring mode. “I think that if that guy knows you like him, he’d be the happiest man in the world,”

 

Minho giggled. _Ugh. Why is Lee Minho so fucking adorabale _. “I never even said I like him,” he tried to lie.__

____

____

 

“Lee Minho, who are you trying to fool?” which got Minho giggling even more. “Wait here,” Chan quickly went to the supply closet that had a spare blanket and brought it back to the balcony. He draped the blanket over the both of them. “Do you want a hug?” 

 

Minho seemed hesitant for a moment, but no one, absolutely _no one _, has ever refused Chan’s warm hugs, so Minho gave up in contemplating and let Chan pull him into an embrace, circling his hands around his petite body.__

____

____

 

It was comfortable silence for a few minutes, with the two boys being wrapped with a blanket and Minho leaning on Chan’s chest. The blonde placed his chin on top of Minho’s head and caressed his arm in soothing motions. “Do you really think he’d be happy if he knew?” Minho’s voice was a whisper, barely audible. 

 

“Positive,”

 

“How can you be so sure?” Chan didn’t even know who the dude was to begin with. 

 

He doesn’t know how to answer that question. What would he say? Would he say that if he was the ‘mysterious’ guy, he’d be the happiest ever? That’s basically confessing and ruining their friendship altogether. “It’s a feeling,” he replied. 

 

Minho hummed. “Thank you for wrapping my foot. I’m sorry I…caused so much trouble,” he sounded so small. So unlike Minho. 

 

Behind the tough demeanor, Minho really is soft and secretly insecure. He’s cuddly and quite clingy, like a cat after it gets used to you. It feels new, in a good way, and feeling possessive, Chan hopes he’s the only one who sees this side of Minho.

 

“I’m glad enough that you’re safe. Your safety always comes first. Just try to be careful next time, yeah?” the brunette nodded, it was a promise. 

 

Chan tightened his hold. He just hoped that if Minho ever decides to tell that person about his feelings, and if they became a thing, he would treat him like a flower. Protecting him and giving him all the attention he needs. 

 

Minho is a rose as he blossoms. Thorns developing to protect him from the hurt. Thorns that grew sharper as his beauty bloomed. He’s delicate and to have him is to treat him with delicacy, because he’s fragile despite holding such a bold form.

 

Sooner or later, Minho fell asleep, snuggled against Chan, the way he wished it would always be, imagining that it could always be like this.

 

He kissed Minho’s forehead as a silent good night.


	4. a boy could dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the comments you guys left on the last chapter really tugged on my heartstrings, i actually almost cried (mainly bcos I was reading a rlly emotional book before reading the comments, but still, i'm VERY touched)
> 
> anyway, bcos of that, i wanted to post another chap (which i was supposed to anyway)
> 
> NOTE: i changed the summary cos i didn't rlly like the previous one
> 
> AND i heard the queen let out another fic and its like 10k?? i plan to binge read after i posted this chap and y'all should check it out!!
> 
> Enjoy!!

Day two: Bat cave 

 

“You could pay for a tour through the cave but Seungminnie and I have been here more than enough to show you guys ourselves, so keep your wallets in your pockets and save your thank you’s till the end of the tour,” Woojin distributed four handled flashlights to the group. 

 

“Tips are welcomed, though,” Seungmin added. “Also, it’s kind of wet along the way so just be careful and make sure to not walk fast, especially you, Minho hyung,” he directed to the older as a safety warning, referring to his not yet fully healed sprain. Still, he could walk, but gently only.

 

“Alrighty, folks,” Jisung started. “Welcome to the famous Bat Cave where we will find a famous species of bat caves because we’re here to see bat- Ow, what was that for?” Jisung rubbed the back of his head from getting hit by Hyunjin.

 

“Shush, the bats are sleeping,” Hyunjin whispered. “Your loud mouth will wake ‘em up,” 

 

“Actually, I don’t think they’re affected much by our voices,” Seungmin guessed. Jisung glanced at Hyunjin with a heated glare. “But thank you for shutting him up,”

 

Hyunjin just shrugged. Oh, Hyunjin is so dead by the end of this tour. 

 

As the tour carried on, Seungmin spitted out facts about the bats here and there. Of course, being the smartass that he is, he did research. They shined their flashlights on the bats who were all in slumber. About hundreds, or maybe thousands hung up there.

 

Too distracted by the bats, Minho didn’t notice a thick bent twig that he tripped on. He used his other leg, which is his sprained leg, to save himself. 

 

Big mistake.

 

He grimaced and winced in pain and thought he was going to fall for real this time but a strong arm circled around his waist before he made it to the ground. He looked back to see Chan flashing him a smile. 

 

“You sprained one leg already, don’t want you spraining another,”

 

“T-thank you,” the whole thing had caught him by surprise.

 

The others looked back and asked Minho if he was okay. He reassured them all saying that he’s fine and that Chan saved him. 

 

Once the tour resumed, Chan swooped up Minho’s hand with his and intertwined their fingers. “Just to be safe, yeah?” 

 

“Oh, uh, uhm, okay,” he nodded silly. A blushing mess. Good thing the cave is dark.

 

And as the tour continued and ended, and as they walked back to the cars, Chan never let go of Minho’s hand, holding it tight. Chan’s hand is bigger than Minho’s and it felt so nice to have his lonely hands being held. They had to separate when they got in to the car but even after then, Chan’s hand found Minho’s on the stick shift and they kept it like that all the way back (no matter how many times Minho told the older how dangerous it is, Chan just smiled and squeezed tighter). 

 

It was just like the night Chan saved Minho.

 

Minho wonders what it means, but he doesn’t want to wonder too far. 

 

He’s too scared to get his hopes up.

 

***

 

Day three: the village and the beach

 

“It’s the last day, guys. Let’s make it worth it,”

 

“We can split into groups of three and meet back here at 3,”

 

So, the nine did. Today, they went to the local village that’s about a 10 to 15-minute walk from the lodge. Seungmin and Woojin informed how friendly the locals are and how welcoming they are. 

 

Right as they were splitting into groups, Minho suddenly gasped. 

 

“Oh my god,” he widened his eyes. It alarmed the boys, thinking if he forgot to turn off the stove or accidently put the laundry in the microwave. “Look!” he pointed to one of the stores from far. A furry feline looks at Minho with curious eyes. “Look at that cat! Oh my god, it’s so fat, that’s adorable!” he jogged towards the cat. Chan laughed at the sudden change in Minho’s expression.

 

“He’s a completely different person when a cat is around,” Jeongin murmured as the others followed him. But they all did have to admit that the cat is really adorable.

 

Minho crouched down towards the cat who was scratching itself. He placed his hand in front of the feline and let it get used to his scent. Once it did, it rubbed the side of it’s head on Minho’s palm and Minho’s smile immediately widened as he combed the silky fur of the orange tabby. It reminded him of Soonie and Doongie.

 

“Oh, she likes you,” the owner of the store came up and crouched down beside Minho. 

 

“Is she yours?” Minho asked, eyes looking up to the middle aged lady wearing an apron with paint streaks on it.

 

“Not really. She wonders around all the time, but she comes here most often,” 

 

For a cat that wonders around a lot, she sure is fat. She had a collar the hugged her neck snuggly in a beautiful royal red. A golden sun sits at the center. Minho flipped it over as it read 햇빛. _Sunshine._

____

____

 

“Oh! Hey, Mrs. Park!” Seungmin greeted, getting the woman’s attention. She stood back up with a surprised smile as she envelops Seungmin in an affection hug. Woojin greeted her too and was given a hug himself. 

 

Jeongin and Jisung crouched down to play with the cat too, but Jisung earned a hiss which erupted laughter on Minho and Jeongin. The other boys wondered through Mrs. Park’s store, casting out compliments on her artworks that displayed all around with pottery pieces on shelves. That explains the paint streaks.

 

Chan watched all of this from the sides, but his eyes were mostly trained on Minho. He couldn’t stop himself with the tender smile that tugged on his lips when he saw the boy playing with the cat, having such an adorning smile that revealed his teeth and turned his eyes into crescents. Minho caught him staring, for a moment, Chan’s smile disappeared and he nearly tried to cough and look away, but then Minho gestured for the older to come pet the cat made his smile return back, fonder, if that was possible. 

 

“Her name is Sunshine. _Sunshiiine _,” Minho said in English. The scene pulled on Chan’s heart. Chan almost petted Minho’s hair instead of the cat. Almost.__

____

____

 

“Are these your friends?” Mrs. Park asked. The Kim brothers nodded and the three caught up with each other. 

 

“Is Jihyo still around by any chance?” Woojin asked. 

 

“Yes, actually. She’s delivering a piece at the moment, but she should be back in any second,” Woojin smiled in interest. Mrs. Park got back in the store and questions and praises from the other boys filled her smiles. 

 

Minho was now completely sitting on the ground, Sunshine on his lap and still grooming the feline. “She’s like Soonie and Doongie, but fatter,” he giggled. 

 

“You have a cute laugh,” Chan commented. 

 

Minho’s cheek was painted in a pretty red, flushed. Another cute sight to Chan. = Lee Minho is never flushed. It’s always _him _making others blush till the tip of their ears. And if they did compliment Minho, he would confidently accept, knowing it and claiming it as a fact.__

____

____

 

“You should be paying attention to the cat, not me,” Minho mumbled, still not looking up to Chan. Chan let out a laugh and ruffled Minho’s hair and proceeding to finally pet the cat. 

 

“Well, the cat is paying attention to you, so why can’t I?” where the sudden confidence came from, Chan didn’t know, but he was sure enjoying teasing Minho. 

 

“Of course, it would pay attention to me, have you seen my beauty?” back to his usual confidence.

 

“Mm, yeah, but maybe the cat is even more beautiful,” paying his full attention to Sunshine now. The younger gave a playful nudge on the shoulder, making Chan let out a chuckle. 

 

After who knows how long they spent their time there, Mrs. Park shooed the boys out, saying, “There’s lots more to discover in this village, don’t waste time on my tiny shop!” with a smile and a wave. 

 

As their original plan to split into groups of three, each group went into three different direction of the wonder-filled village. 

 

Around the stores Minho discovers, Sunshine follows him to some. He sees how there are bowls of cat food and water in a few of the shops and spots some other cats littered here and there.

 

Hyunjin grabs his and Seungmin’s arm as his eyes catches a thrift store. 

 

“We’re supposed to be searching for marshmallows, Hyunjin,” Seungmin called out. Since it was their last day, they wanted to spend most of the evening on the beach, relaxing with a mouthful of smores. 

 

“I just want to check it out for a while. We still have, like, hours left,”

 

_A while _turned into forty minutes as Hyunjin indulges himself in trying out the clothes he finds and matches them into a nice, aesthetic outfit. He ends up buying most of it and the other two dreading, waiting impatiently, knew how Hyunjin will have a difficult time fitting that into his luggage.__

____

____

 

“See? Told you it’ll only take a sec,” Seungmin only rolled his eyes in response. 

 

Minho wanted to get a souvenir here as a memory but he wonders what. He’s been wanting a necklace for quite a while now but he’s unsure what type of necklace he should get. 

 

He feels a ball of fur rubbing itself off of his ankle and looks down to see Sunshine being affectionate. It strucks how easily Sunshine warmed up to Minho since other cats weren’t much like that. He kneeled down to gently bring the feline onto his arms. He struggled with it due to the weight of Sunshine but still ended up carrying her anyway. Surprisingly, she didn’t hop off because it was honestly an experimental act, but Minho enjoyed carrying a fat cat as he strolled around the village. Somewhere along the way, Minho let her down and she continued her day looking for trouble.

 

***

 

“Look who came to say hello,” Chan looked back to see who Felix was referring to.

 

Felix played with Sunshine as she purrs when he scratches the area below her ear. 

 

“Chan Hyung, I don’t know which one to choose,” Changbin called out, holding two packets of dried seaweed.

 

Chan, however, didn’t listen, too engrossed in the actions of Sunshine and Felix. 

 

Changbin placed the packets back on the shelf and went up to call Chan. He saw a smile that was plastered on the older’s face. “So, who do you think is cuter? The cat or Minho hyung?”

 

“Minho, duh,” Chan answered. 

 

“Mm, Minho hyung might disagree,”

 

“No, he _would _agree because he knows it,”__

____

____

 

Changbin dragged Chan to help him out on the list of things they had and want to get and Chan wonders what Minho is doing right now. He hears a meow from Sunshine who is now approaching him lazily. 

 

Chan bent down and placed a hand in front of Sunshine, beckoning the feline to place its paw on is palm. Not exactly what Chan expected as the cat rubs its head on the finger tips of Chan’s hand and his mind wonder yet again to Minho. 

 

How similar to a cat Minho is. When he smiles, the tip of his lips curls up like a cat would. He’s elegant in the way he dances. He has an attitude like a cat too. Maybe this was due to the fact that Minho has two cats, now three with the happiest and smallest addition, Dori. 

 

Once they were done getting the stuff they needed, they explored around buying things they wanted. 

 

***

 

When they arrived back at the lodge, they all took a two-hour rest and waited till precisely an hour and a half before sunset. 

 

“The sand toys are in the twin’s room,” 

 

“Jinnie, please bring a couple of firewood outside,” 

 

“Are these fondue forks?”

 

“Ooh, fancy,”

 

“Where’s the sunscreen?” 

 

“Don’t forget the fairy lights!” 

 

“They don’t even work!”

 

Their calls buzz through the lodge. They were finally going to the beach and spend their remaining evening feeling like high schoolers and they’re planning to make it as memorable as possible. 

 

Of course, about half of the boys didn’t hesitate in jumping straight into the salty water and splashed each other and the next second, they’re fully soaked. The water was beautifully clear, shining with a soft turquoise reflecting the sunlight.

 

While the eldest two prepared a fire ring around the fire wood, the youngest two busied themselves in building a sandcastle. Minho joined them not long after and helped collect seashells for decorations. 

 

“Ew, what the fuck is that?” all eight boys turned to see Hyunjin running out of the water and on instinct, the other boys followed out too, except Felix. “Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew!” 

 

“Relax, Jinnie, it was just a sea cucumber,” Felix bent down to touch the soft creature. Chan got excited and went beside Felix to touch it as well and the others, except Jisung and Hyunjin, came by to take a look at the aquatic animal. Jeongin got too excited that he almost brought the sea cucumber out of the water. 

 

“it’s soft and slime-y,” 

 

They brought their floaties and relaxed in the water, feeling so free and so fresh. They basked themselves in the water, using snorkels in spotting more aquatic life with corals laid out here and there. 

 

“Did you know that corals are not plants? They’re actually animals,” Chan explained, lifting up his snorkel. Living in Australia, Felix and Chan would spend most of the evenings surfing the waves and breathing in the salty air. “These corals-” he pointed to a group coral. “are actually made up of small, tiny animals,” 

 

“Wow. They’re so beautiful!” Minho commented. This time, he wanted to get into the water action. It seemed exciting and mirthful. He was careful with his foot though. Supposedly, he wasn’t supposed to get the bandage wet, but he really couldn’t help himself. Can you blame him?

 

Their laughs and smiles filled the air. Their eyes showing crescent and cheeks lift to shine.

 

Minho looks over that beautiful view. Sunset will be coming soon so he decides to bathe first and soon he’ll watch over the fire ring while the boys switched. This was so much better than the whole incident in the club, Minho thought. A gazillion, billion times better. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

***

 

“You’re drooling, again,” Changbin nudged his shoulder. 

 

Right after Minho came out to the beach, feeling clean and refreshed, Chan appeared after, freshly bathed as well, wearing a tank top with a towel around his neck, using it to dry off his hair. That tank top exposed his arm muscles and who wouldn’t drool? Its basically _asking _for attention.__

____

____

 

“Earth to Minho,” Changbin waved a hand in front of Minho’s face. 

 

Minho didn’t respond, eyes still trained on Chan who was helping Woojin out on with the fire. _This is harder than I thought _.__

____

____

 

Sure, Chan was shirtless most of the time in their discover, but Minho was so distracted by the beauties of nature he never noticed that Chan’s body was barely in his mind (surprisingly). 

 

“I’m gonna go get the chocolates and crackers,” Minho stood up, blind to the smaller boy’s calling and rushing over to the lodge. 

 

He looked through the refrigerator to find the cocoa delis and found the collection of Hershey chocolates they bought at the market. The dancer could faintly hear Hyunjin and Felix’s chatter upstairs. Now the marshmallows. 

 

“Hey, Min,” Minho felt a body pressed against and a chin hooked on his shoulders. He turns to see Woojin smiling at him. The older boy circled his arms around Minho’s waist and hugging tight. Minho just tilted his head in confusion but didn’t mind the intimacy. 

 

“Woojin, where’s the-“ Chan walks in through the front door and stops in his tracks, looking at Woojin giving a back hug to Minho. Something in his eyes changed and he exited as fast as he came with a mumble. “Sorry,” as if he was disturbing a private moment.

 

Minho was now confused. Woojin gave a mischievous grin and glared at the door. 

 

“Binnie was right.” He whispered to himself, which only got Minho even more confused. “Anyway, did you find what you needed?” he unlatched himself from Minho. 

 

“Uhm, yeah. I didn’t find the crackers though,”

 

“It’s right here,” Woojin reached up to a taller cabinet and retrieve the snack. 

 

“Thanks. What was that all about?”

 

“What do you mean?” Woojin smiled. 

 

Minho stared at him suspiciously. “Nevermind.”

 

Back outside, the boys were busying themselves in taking pictures, treasuring these moments while it lasts before the sun burns out. 

 

Minho dipped his feet in the shallow water, letting the golden rays paint him in gold. He breathed in through his nose and exhaled out of his mouth repeatedly. 

 

Suddenly, strong arms snaked around his waist and Minho froze for a moment. He looked to his side to surprisingly see Chan having a grumpy frown on his face. He hid his head in the crook of Minho’s neck and inhaled his vanilla scent, holding on tighter.

 

Minho smiled and let himself relax. “What are you doing here?” he patted Chan’s hair. 

 

“Just wanted a hug,” he mumbled, voice muffled. Minho giggled at Chan’s cuteness. “Is it wrong to hug one of my best friends?”

 

“Of course not,” that’s probably all they’re ever going to be. Best friends.

 

“Random question,” Chan lifted his head and looked at Minho. “By any chance, when you talked about that guy you couldn’t stop thinking of, is it Woojin?” 

 

Minho looked at Chan, perplexed. For some reason, his actions, his face, and his words bordered possessiveness. It made Minho have a fuzzy feeling in his stomach, like raging butterflies. 

 

“No, why?” 

 

“No reason,” he went back to bury his head in the crook of Minho’s neck. Minho held onto Chan’s hands, threading their fingers together.

 

“You’ve been quite weird today.” Chan only hummed. 

 

And for a moment, in the smell of salty air and the clash of waves, in the golden shine and hue tinged clouds, in Chan’s reassuring and warm-filled embrace, Minho let’s himself think that they’re more than this. 

 

A boy could dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty much almost finished writing the story and I have about 3 - 5 chaps left? maybe more maybe less? 
> 
> Also, idk why there's a note below this note i can't get rid of it
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING, OR KUDOS, OR COMMENTS. IT RLLY MAKES MY DAYYY<33


	5. It's not good for my heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd 
> 
> enjoy!

It seemed that this whole trip seemed to be taken from a fairytale of some sort. While most of them still had projects and assignments that will be due after their little break, they’re letting themselves enjoy the moment for now. 

 

“Open wide,” Hyunjin fed Changbin a smore, warm and crunchy. 

 

“Seungminnie, how come you’re not roasting a marshmallow?” 

 

Seungmin shook his head. “I don’t like marshmallows,” they all gasped. “They taste weird and dusty and gooey,” 

 

“But that’s exactly why it’s great! It’s squishy and soft, but oh, so, so sweet,” Jeongin recited, as if in an acting scene.

 

“You’re lucky you’re my boyfriend,” Seungmin moved so that he was back hugging Jeongin while the younger continued on eating smores. 

 

“You _love _me,” the boy said nonchalantly.__

____

____

 

Seungmin said nothing back, only pouting, but everyone in the circle knew that it was true. 

 

“This feels like kumbaya,” Woojin slurped his hot chocolate.

 

“Maybe it is,” 

 

Bickering erupted from Felix and Jeongin about who has the better technique at roasting a marshmallow. Minho watched it all with a smile on his face. He tried to distract himself as much as possible. He knew that when they go back, some things will be different, to him at least. 

 

“Minho-hyung, we’ve ran out of chocolate. Can you be a dear and get some more?” Changbin fluttered his eyelashes, looking all innocent. 

 

Minho groaned. “Fine.” Minho stood up.

 

“I’ll go with you, Min,” Chan followed his actions. 

 

“You don’t hav-“ 

 

“The more, the merrier,” Chan simply replied. Minho looked at him quizzically, shrugging. 

 

“Do you think Chan-hyung will finally confess?” Hyunjin asked once the two went inside the lodge, hiding the chocolates behind his back. The rest smiled, except Felix.

 

“I thought we ran out of chocolates?” Felix asked, completely clueless about the situation. 

 

“Oh, Lixie. I love you so much, but you’re so dense,” 

 

“I say a week’s worth lunch that Chan hyung won’t confess. Who’s up?” Changbin betted.

 

Completely out of hearing range, Chan took a small paper bag from the guest room while Minho goes through the fridge for the chocolate bars. 

 

“Hey, Minnie.” Chan called from behind Minho. 

 

“Hm?” he still didn’t look in Chan’s direction.

 

“I got something for you,” now he got Minho’s attention. 

 

“Why?” 

 

“I thought it would look pretty on you,” he handed the small paper bag.

 

Minho took a look inside, bringing out the object. “Did you get something for the others as well?” 

 

Chan rubbed the back of his neck, looking away. “Nope.” Was he blushing?

 

Minho didn’t press the subject. He brought out a necklace that had a rope-like thread. What it holds was a rock with the rich color of a golden brown, satisfyingly and perfectly shaped into an ovoid. 

 

Chan took it out of his hands and walked behind Minho. He gently wraps the necklace around his neck and tied the ends of the thread together. 

 

“I found this rock when I was searching for you after you wondered around the woods.” 

 

Minho took the stone in his hands, carefully angling it where the light reflects and he could fairly see his reflection. 

 

Before Minho could even say anything, Chan had gone outside. Minho chased after him, completely forgetting about the chocolate. 

 

“Looks like it all finished.” Chan informed back to the group. 

 

“Jinnie found some more.” Woojin told him. 

 

Minho, right before approaching the group, tucked his necklace into his shirt. 

 

Once Minho sat back down, he tugged the blanket over himself, bringing his knees to his chest. Felix began telling a horror story while his boyfriend covers his ears. Minho scooted closer to Chan, just because he can. 

 

“You read my mind. I’ve been wanting a necklace for a while now.” He said, voice quiet so that only Chan could hear. “Thanks again, Channie, or if that even is your real name. Maybe you’re secretly superman or a mind master.” 

 

Chan chuckled, and the sound of that laugh was the most angelic thing Minho has ever heard. Under their blankets where no one could see, their fingers are slightly brushing. 

 

“Wow, look at the moon!” Jeongin pointed up. 

 

And while everyone’s distracted, and because he still feels like it’s a fairy tale or a dream, Minho gives Chan’s cheek a surprise kiss. His thank you gift. 

 

***

 

_How to stop being gay? _Minho dumbly types into his laptop. A small part of him is serious though.__

____

____

 

Ever since they’ve came back from the trip three weeks ago, Minho has been decreasing the time he spends with Chan, even cancelling some of their study sessions and their usual movie night Monday. He’s careful though. Slowly, but surely. 

 

But every once in a while, the thought that he has to avoid Chan and potentially hurt Chan’s feelings for his own petty ones shows how much of a dumbass Minho is. That’s okay, because soon, Chan will find someone who can replace Minho and take them on Movie Mondays and help him with his studies instead of stealing glances every once in a while and getting easily distracted. 

 

Yeah, it’s alright. Minho’s not special. That necklace that he wore, never ever taken off was just as Chan said, just something that he thought Minho of. 

 

***

 

Minho leaned against the mirror, reaching the tip of his toes with his legs stretched wide. Just then, familiar heads pop up into the dance room. 

 

“I have no idea how you guys wake up so early,” Hyunjin yawned.

 

Ten and Changmin drop their bags in a corner of a room, joining Minho with stretches. Hyunjin, however, went directly on the floor to catch up with a few Z’s. It was, like, what? 7:30? Not that early. 

 

They all giggled. After their stretching, they proceeded to blast music to the speakers, not caring how loud it was. Hyunjin sleeps like a log after all. 

 

Dancing. Dancing is good. One of the things that keeps the weight on Minho’s shoulder at bay is dancing. For once, he can rid the troubles he had in mind and just let the adrenaline of fluid body movement take over him. 

 

He can let the music consume his body and only focus on himself through the mirror. He doesn’t think, he feels. Thoughts only lead to ache, so he feels. 

 

Even after hours, he can still stand up and move. Even after Ten, Changmin and Hyunjin invited him for lunch, he still wants to continue. 

 

He wasn’t aware about the hours that passed by and soon the sun began to set outside. And then he realized how long he’s been cooped up inside the dance room, about 9 hours? Or maybe even 10? He didn’t know, he was too tired. 

 

He lied down on the floor, closing his eyes while he showers in sweat. A buzz suddenly came from his phone, breaking his little nap.

 

“Hello?” 

 

_“Minnie, are you still at the studio? You’ve been there since sunrise,” ___

____

____

 

Minho checked the collar id, seeing the name Ten displayed on the screen. 

 

“Hyung, you almost stayed inside here for a whole day. Don’t come complaining about me.”

 

_“True. Anyway, you free right now?”_

____

____

 

“What do you want this time?” Minho sighed. If Ten asks a question like that, he had something up his sleeve. “No use in pretending,”

 

_"Hehe, I love you, Minnie. Anygay, so I’m sitting here, barbecue sauce on my-" ___

____

____

 

“If this is about Johnny hyung, then I’m not helping you,” 

 

_“Pleaaaaaase! I wanna make him jealous. I’ll buy you your bitter ass coffee for a week,” _the older whined.__

____

____

 

“Hmm?” Minho put it into consideration.

 

_“Fine. Two weeks.” _Minho slyly smiled.__

____

____

 

“Deal.” 

 

_“Now hurry up and come to my apartment. I bet you smell and look like shit.” _Minho looked at the time. 6:56 pm.__

____

____

 

Minho sighed, pushing himself off of the floor and began to pack his stuff. “I’ll be there in 15.” 

_"Also, I wanna do your make up. See ya!" he ended the call._

____

____

 

Well, this is going to be a fun night. Good distraction. 

 

***

 

Minho looked at himself through the mirror. Not bad. 

 

It was a pretty simple outfit, since he didn’t have plans after dance, he had to borrow a few of Ten’s clothes. 

 

Tight black ripped jeans hugged his thighs snuggly. He wore a white tank top below the silky black dress shirt that he borrowed from Ten. Three buttons unbuttoned, showing his sharp collarbone. A maroon purple-ish eyeshadow painted his eyes, making it look sharp, radiating a beautiful mysterious aura. Ten added a winged eyeliner with some glossy strawberry lip gloss to finish the look. 

 

Ten wore a light reflecting dress shirt that would catch everyone’s attention when he takes the dancefloor, especially Johnny. He had black leather pants on with a red belt. His eyes were smoky gray, with a dash of glitter. A nice matte lipstick to top it all. 

 

“Peep that highlight,” Ten shook his head to see the points of where the highlight is shining. 

 

Minho smiled. Ten did a _great _job. He wonders if Chan would admire at how pretty Minho is tonight.__

____

____

 

“Are you gonna find yourself a someone tonight?” Ten asks, applying a light layer of lip gloss. 

 

“Maybe.” 

 

“Okay, what’s wrong?” Ten looks at Minho with his hand at his waist, giving the ‘I know something is wrong’ look. 

 

“Your height.” Minho tried to dodge.

 

“You’re not even that much taller.” Ten leaned closer, giving Minho a suspenseful glare for what seemed like an hour that Minho almost looked away. 

 

“Oh my god.” Ten gasped. 

 

“W-what?” Minho stuttered. 

 

“You’re in love.” 

 

“Says you.” Minho shot back, feeling blood rushing to his face.

 

“I’m not afraid to admit it.” Ten challenged. 

 

“Being in love is overrated.” Minho mumbled, rolling his eyes.

 

Ten sighed, grabbing both of Minho’s hands and holding it in his own. “Oh, you little kids are so naïve.”

 

“You’re just two years ol-“

 

“Oh my, unrequited is not my cup of tea.” Ten said in a weird fancy accent. “What’s his name?” 

 

“Mr. Hottie with a body.” Ten raised his eyebrow. “Bang Chan.”

 

“You have feelings for _Chan _?” Ten asked incredulously. “Lee Minho, you little gay boy.”__

____

____

 

“Shut up forever, please.” Ten just grinned. 

 

“Onwards and upwards.” Ten dragged Minho out of the apartment. 

 

***

 

Even after over an hour, Minho can’t shake off the feeling of stares burning holes through his back. It brought him shivers. Currently, he’s making small conversation with Kino, one of the centers from another unit who so happens to love dance too. Music bounced off the wall, off the ceiling and through the boys’ ears as they continued to chatter. 

 

Ten (obviously) successfully got cupid’s arrow on Johnny who was now dancing with the said boy on the dancefloor. 

 

Minho excused himself to go to the bathroom, but really, he was trying to catch the eyes of those burning him. Being a little drunk, he wasn’t aware of who this person is.

 

Suddenly, the person approached him and Minho could see a beautiful girl with short raven hair appear in his vision. 

 

“Hey! You’re Minho, right?” her voice sweet and airy.

 

“Uhm, yes.” He answered hesitantly. “Have we…met before?” Minho asked.

 

“Oh, no. This is probably the first time we’ve properly met. Sorry. I’m Jimin. Maybe someone has mentioned me to you before?” 

 

Minho cocked his head. The name sounded familiar but he couldn’t place his tongue on it. 

 

“I’m one of Channie’s closest friends.” She stated a matter-of-factly. 

 

“You’re _that _Jimin?” the girl smiled, showing her pearly whites. As gay as Minho is, he couldn’t help but admire how gorgeous Jimin is. Weirdly, it made him feel insecure. He knows he shouldn’t be feeling like that, but he can’t help himself but have a horrible gut feeling in his stomach, feeling low under her gaze despite being taller. It wasn’t like him to feel self-conscious. Such a thing was not in his vocabulary.__

____

____

 

“I need your help on something if that’s alright with you.” she pleadingly asked.

 

Minho looked around and Jimin brought him to a quieter area, away from the pounding music so that they could talk easily without interruption. What would Jimin possibly need from Minho? 

 

“This is a little embarrassing to say but…” she took a deep breath. “It’s about Channie. I…I like Channie, a lot, and I wanna, well, I wanna confess to him but I’m not sure in what way I should.” She said. 

 

Minho widened his eyes. Uhm. For Minho, this is definitely an awkward situation. Of course, Jimin looks really nervous and is completely unaware of Minho’s position. “I’m not sure if I’m the right person to ask help about this for.” Minho explained, rubbing the back of his neck, feeling nervous. 

 

“Please? You're one of his closest friends. Okay, if you were to be confessed to, how would you want it to be told?” 

 

This isn’t the first time a person has asked Minho for advice on confessing Chan, and usually, he would purposely not help because he knows someone like them isn’t fit to be with someone like Chan, as horrible as it sounds. But this is Jimin, someone who Minho is very much aware is someone dear to Chan. Should Minho answer this? He doesn’t even know himself. It doesn’t feel right. Minho thinks for a moment. Well, maybe Chan secretly likes her. Maybe Jimin is the person Chan has been secretly pining over. They’re really close after all and if they do start dating, Minho could finally move on, no? 

 

That realization was a tough punch to his gut. He’s been so busy thinking of ways of getting over Chan, but when the thought could finally come true, it doesn’t feel ready. It’s stupid. So, so stupid. Minho was so stupid.

 

“I want them to confess as straightforward as possible. I want honesty and why they would want to date me. I want them to like me for _me _and not be some kind of douchebag only looking for some fuck. And if they really like me, I want them to try their best to woo me.”__

____

____

 

Either way, he had to answer, because he’s doing this for Chan, not for Jimin. Chan could be happy. The feeling of loving and being loved is possibly the best feeling in the world. And no, Minho isn’t exaggerating. 

 

Jimin looked at him quietly, as if studying Minho in a way. It made him feel even more insecure. She nodded, taking mental note. “Alright then. Thank you so much, Minho-ssi. I’ll see ya around!” and she took off to the crowd, just like that. 

 

Just before she could disappear from Minho’s line of vision, Minho called out to her. “I think Chan will be the happiest man in the world to have someone like you as his girlfriend.” Why did Minho say that? He’s not sure, but he wasn’t wrong. Jimin probably has people lining up around the block to be with someone like her. If Chan is really close with her, then she must be a joy. 

 

She smiled, reaching her eyes. She didn’t seem flustered with the comment, but happy nevertheless. Minho didn’t think too much about the jealousy feeling in his chest, only waving an encouraging smile.

 

Tonight has been so weird.

 

***

 

“Okay, spill. Why has Min been avoiding me?” 

 

Changbin looked up from the biology textbook vol. 3. “Can’t you see I’m studying?” Chan just gave him the ‘tell me the truth or else’ eyes. “I didn’t even know he’s been avoiding you.” 

 

“Maybe I did something wrong? I don’t know. I don’t think I did. But lately, he’s been so distant. He even missed Movie Monday. _Movie Monday _!” Chan emphasized, being slightly loud in the end which earned him a hush from one of the librarians. Chan whispered an apology.__

____

____

 

Changbin just shrugged, looking down to his book. “Didn’t he say he joined that art program or something?” 

 

“That’s what I thought! But Renjun is also in the art program and when I asked him about Min, he told me he never signed up for it.” before Changbin could say anything, Chan continued. “And I know you know why.” 

 

“What if he’s just busy with dance? He has a performance in two weeks, anyway.” He tries his best to reason. “Or maybe…” he gave Chan an innocent yet knowing smile. “…he’s seeing someone?” 

 

Chan’s face stayed neutral, but he knows Chan. He could tell that the older was slightly bothered and trying his best to keep his cool. 

 

“Something wrong, hyung?” Changbin asked after Chan seemed to be looking at space. 

 

Chan shook his head. “Anyway,” his expression back to cheery, as if he wasn’t silently clenching his jaw a second before. “what are you studying?” 

 

“The circle of life.” He looked backed down in disgust.


	6. I have butterflies in my stomach

Minho lifted Dori onto his lap, letting her play with the strings of his gray hoodie. 

 

It’s Movie Monday. 

 

Minho feels sick to the stomach for bailing on Chan. He had told the older earlier in the day that he had a calculus test the next morning to study for. No, he didn’t. 

 

It’s okay. It’s for the best anyway. Maybe Jimin had confessed already? Minho doesn’t want to trap Chan under their usual routine when he could be spending time with such a cute girl. Minho wallowed in self pity over something he did to himself. Chan probably already noticed Minho avoiding him, but if he did, he didn’t say anything. 

 

Yeah, it’s okay. They’re just friends. 

 

Minho wonders why Chan even hanged out with him in the first place. Minho is wild and fierce. Chan is gentle and tender. He’s thankful enough Chan does such a thing and tries to not let himself think the older did so out of pity. 

 

“Dori, no matter how many guys I find, why do I always think about Channie in the end?” he asked the kitten, but the question is more directed to himself. The ache hurts and Minho is the only person to blame. He bitterly laughed, or cried, he doesn’t know anymore. 

 

Dori meowed at her owner and walked away. 

 

“Wow, just when I need you the most, you left me.” Minho told his youngest daughter (as he liked to refer his cats as his kids). He called after Soonie and Doongie who didn’t respond, probably lazily asleep somewhere in the apartment. 

 

He looked over the digital clock that sat beside the television. 8:36 pm. 

 

Jisung wasn’t coming back anytime soon. The younger went to the gym with Changbin, normally back at 10. 

 

Dori’s meows suddenly called him from his room. Minho groaned as he got up, wondering what Dori’s up to now. 

 

He found her pawing the drawer below his desk, so close to the edge that it seemed like she was going to fall. 

 

Without a second of hesitation, Minho dashed to her because silly little Dori somehow tripped on her two little paws trying to balance herself. As gentle as possible -which was almost impossible- Minho managed to catch the kitten in his hands but also ended up harshly bumping his head, wincing in pain as he closed his eyes. 

 

Minho sighed. “Dori, you little-“ he opened his eyes to see Dori’s beady ones that could weaken even the devil’s heart. Minho couldn’t possibly curse at his youngest, no matter how much trouble he puts up with the feline’s shenanigans. 

 

He hugged the little one closer. “You almost got yourself _killed _,” he exaggerated. Despite being a cat, Dori could’ve easily landed on her paws, but she was still small and fragile, and when Minho adopted her, he was told that she had sensitive paws. “What were you trying to do, anyway?”__

____

____

 

The feline just meowed, as if she understood what he said. Minho stood up, still holding Dori in his hand. He looked at the desk and his expression softened. 

 

It was the necklace that Chan gave to him.

 

He looked back at Dori incredulously. “How…” and knowing she would probably just meow back at him, Minho gave her a kiss on her forehead. “You’re right, Dori. I should be out with Chan, but I’m just a coward running away from his problems,” he admitted to himself. “You’re my favourite now, Dori. Don’t tell your brother and sister that I told you that.”

 

Minho took the necklace and wore it. He lifted the stone and looking at it with a sad expression. “Lee Minho, you stupid fucking dumbass.” 

 

And with that, he placed another kiss on Dori and placed her on the living room couch with her favourite ball ring toy to keep her distracted, took the house keys, and left. 

 

There’s still a chance that Jimin hasn’t yet confessed, and Minho is going to take that chance while he can. 

 

Screw himself for being such a scaredy-cat (pun intended). It’s now or never. He doesn’t know when he’s ever going to get this sudden surge of confidence again. 

 

He paces through the streets, through people, through shops, through his favourite cat café, through that mini mart that he would randomly go at 3am for his favourite ramen. He was so distracted by his thoughts that he almost walked through a red light. 

 

Someone laughed. Not exactly at him, but that laugh sounded so familiar that he searched for the source of the sound. He whipped his head so fast that he probably almost cracked his neck trying to find who that laugh belonged to. 

 

And there he is. Chan with a wide smile and an angelic laugh. How Minho could hear his laugh among car honks, music playing somewhere and strangers’ chatters, he doesn’t know. Minho smiled to himself, feeling a sense of relief despite the amounts of guilt he had in his head. He’s about to call out to Chan since he couldn’t cross yet, but he stopped himself. 

 

There _she _is, coming out of that shop. Not just any shop, it’s Minho’s and Chan’s favourite smoothie store after Movie Monday. There she is with a pearly smile, a bouquet of flowers, and a laugh that beautifully blended with Chan’s.__

____

____

 

Jimin took a sip of Chan’s drink -his favourite mango smoothie with 50% ice and 75% sugar with tapioca balls- and widened her eyes at the amounts of sweetness. Chan laughed at her reaction. Nevertheless, she smiled saying something and left a chaste kiss on Chan’s cheek. 

 

Minho watched from the sidelines, not realizing the light had already turned green for a while as a sea of bodies walk pass him mindlessly. 

 

Suddenly, everything seemed quiet. Too quiet. This is the first time ever Minho just doesn’t know what to do. Hadn’t he been waiting this moment to happen? Hadn’t he prepared all along? _He’s _the one who encouraged Jimin to confess to Chan and giving her his opinion on how he wants somebody to confess. The only person he should be frustrated at is himself. He deserved it.__

____

____

 

He hooked his hoodie over his head and walked back with his head hung low. On the way to the point of that scene, it seemed so fast, but on the way back, time seemed like it stopped, suffering. 

 

His mind blank, but his eyes filled. He could hear laughs as he inserts his keys into the keyhole and slowly opened the door. 

 

Jisung was back, playing with Soonie and Dori on the couch, television on with his favourite anime series, The Seven Deadly Sins, playing on. Soonie was and probably always will be Jisung’s favorite. Their names were pretty similar too; Soonie and Sungie. Doongie was sitting on his fluffy cat bed that sat below the coffee table.

 

When Jisung turned to see Minho at the door with red teary eyes full on display, his face immediately fell. The younger boy put the two cats away and before he could get up to Minho, the brunette had already trudged to Jisung and collapsed on the younger with an “Oof!” from Jisung. 

 

“Hyungie…” Jisung stroked Minho’s soft brunette hair. Minho hid his face in the crook of Jisung’s neck and let his silent broken tears soak Jisung’s shirt, just like it did with Changbin’s. Pathetic, he thinks.

 

“I just want cuddles now, please.” He mumbled, voice muffled but understandable. So weak, he felt so weak and so fragile. He hated that feeling. 

 

Who knows how long he sat there with tears raining his heart out. Minho is so thankful to have Jisung. Sometimes, in situations just like this where Minho feels so vulnerable, Jisung becomes the hyung. He takes care of Minho just in the way Minho would take care of Jisung. He absolutely loves Jisung so much. The boy and Changbin make it okay to feel vulnerable, make it okay to not have a mask all the time. 

 

“Why isn’t your shirt sweaty?” he asked. 

 

Jisung chuckled. “We didn’t go to the gym this time. I was helping Binnie hyung to search for the perfect gift for Hyunjinnie,” he adjusted their position so that Minho lied beside him instead of on top of him. “technically, we bought three; one from me and two from Binnie.” 

 

“What did you get for him?” Minho sniffed, seemingly looking better. 

 

“A bracelet.” 

 

“What about Binnie?” 

 

“Well…he got a choker that Hyunjin has been dying to get and…” 

 

“And? What about the other gift?”

 

Jisung whispered it to Minho’s ear even though they’re both alone in their shared apartment, as if saying out loud would taint the cats.

 

Minho gawked at Jisung as he laughed. “Oh my gosh, seriously?” 

 

Jisung nodded trying his best to keep his laugh in, and he’s glad he was able to make Minho smile again. Even for a while, Jisung would do anything to keep the hurt away for as long as possible for Minho. 

 

He owes Minho a lot. The sole reason why he and Felix are together now is because of Minho, but even before that, they were really good friends. 

 

“That’s hot, and Jinnie is a lucky guy.” 

 

“I know, right?” Jisung yawned.

 

Dori jumped up the couch and settled comfortably between Jisung and Minho. Not knowing how much time had passed (again), Jisung had fallen asleep. Maybe he was trying his best to keep awake for Minho. How sweet.

 

Minho smiled to both his bestfriend and his little kitten. Not wanting to wake Jisung up, Minho scooped him up and carried him into his bedroom, lying him down and draping his blanket over his body snuggly. He went back to the living room and took Soonie in his arms and placed her beside the younger boy. He turned on the nightlight that Jisung could never sleep without and left a kiss on Jisung’s soft chubby cheeks before quietly closing the door. 

 

The brunette scooped up Dori, seeing Doongie snuggly purring in his slumber on the cat bed. He took the little one and brought her to sleep beside him. It took a few strokes to finally get her to sleep. Minho gripped hard onto the stone that hanged around his neck. 

 

Finally, he could move on, right? 

 

He hates this. He has and he always will. He’s been pining over Chan for far too long now and he should move on. 

 

The suffering ache in his heart makes him want to cry all over again despite Jisung’s effort in making him smile. 

 

_Pathetic. ___

____

____

 

This time, his heart didn’t sew itself back together. It stayed there, surrounded by darkness, needle being stabbed through the ripped core. 

 

He tried his best to sleep with the sound of Dori’s purr, trying his best to distract himself from the constant sniffs.

 

***

 

Hyunjin and Ten sighed as they look at the mess of Lee Minho in front of them. 

 

Felix and Changmin, both on each side of Minho, comforting him.

 

They had brought Minho to his favourite waffle house. He kept assuring them that he was doing okay, that he’s doing fine (read: _fine _). They had all came knocking on the apartment door and was greeted by a Minho who looked like he hasn’t seen the sun in days. He kept refusing their generous offer, but they were stubborn and didn’t want Minho to stay locked in his room any longer. It’s been way too many days since he’s been out to anywhere except campus for classes. They forced him out of his room and literally had to drag him out of his apartment.__

____

____

 

They’d gotten him his favourite buttermilk waffles with strawberries and bananas on top and a perfect amount of whip cream to go with it, just the way he likes it, yet still, there was no hint of happiness in his eyes even if he showed them an authentic smile. 

 

“You guys should stop worrying about me,” he wiped his mouth with a napkin. “I’m okay, y’know?” 

 

“Mm hmm, sure you are.” Ten responded, sighing. “If you think dark circles like _that _are okay, then-“ he leaned in closer to look at Minho’s tired expression that looked nothing short of “okay”. “you have a wild definition of okay.”__

____

____

 

And honestly, Ten’s right. Even if Minho does go to classes to keep his grades, the moment it’s done, he’s back in his apartment and locked in his room. He’s always been refusing and making excuses whenever his friends invite him to an outing or just to hangout over ice-cream, but he’s not feeling it. 

 

Minho didn’t even bother with concealer, and he _always _wears concealer before going out, regardless where.__

____

____

 

“Let me have my post-heartbreak phase, please,” Minho groaned. It’s been almost a week since and even his circle of close friends have been worried (even Seungmin, but he doesn’t show it). Not everyone knew about this heartbreak thing. Minho didn’t even plan to tell anyone except probably Jisung, Changbin and Hyunjin. Hyunjin just had to spill it out on their dance unit, but Minho was too exhausted and tired to scold him. He knew Hyunjin did it for a reason, and it being their friends comforting him which he gratefully accepts because having a heartbreak makes him very clingy all a sudden. 

 

“Y’know what you need hyung?” Hyunjin perked up. All eyes on him. “Change of plans,” he stood up. “we’re all going out tonight whether you like it or not.” 

 

They all grinned, except Minho, who looked like he wanted to crawl back in his cozy room, wrapped around his blanket like a candy and sleep forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chap was a little shorter than the others but the next will be a lot longer :D
> 
> also, can you guess what Binnie got for Hyunjin ;)


	7. I don't want to hurt you, but I did

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is so late! Currently busy with studying and stuff so for next week's chap, it might be late as well but i'll try to upload it by Friday at least?
> 
> as promised, this is a long chap! and there's kind of implied anxiety but not mentioned, i hope it's not too much
> 
> enjoy this almost 5k of...well... something? :/

Minho sits upside down on the couch the next morning with Doongie right beside him. He groans and groans and groans, and soon enough, Doongie jumps up on him and his paws land on his exposed tummy, probably annoyed by his grunts before he jumps back down and ambles away.

 

_Why do I even deal with you, anyway? _Minho glares at Doongie.__

____

____

 

He had to admit that he did feel a little better after their fun at the club last night. He really did need to get his shit together because the dance showcase is not too far away from now. He tried, like, _really _tried to dance with all he had, but it didn’t feel the same, and the others could see it too.__

____

____

 

He sighed, feeling anxious. He also had to buy something for Hyunjin too, since his birthday is the day right after the showcase. Maybe he’ll just find something online, neglecting the thought of going out. He didn’t feel like walking around, or going out in particular when getting online just takes a little trip to fish out his phone.

 

Just as he was about to get up, someone knocks on the door. 

 

Seriously, why can’t he just have a quiet afternoon, swallowing himself in his heart break state in peace and quiet (and tears)? 

 

He didn’t get up just yet, hoping the person would just go away and giving up in trying to knock. If it was Jisung, he’d have his key and if it were to be Changbin, Hyunjin, or Felix, they had their own pattern of knocking so that Minho would be familiar of who it was at the door. Sadly, the knock didn’t give up.

 

Again, Minho groans for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. He hopes it’s someone who wanted to see Jisung, so that he could tell them that the boy wasn’t here at the moment and he’d be alone in his apartment all by himself again. 

 

He brought his hoodie over his head and tightened the strings. He can’t bother or be bothered with anymore comments about his horrible state. Not bothering to look through the peephole, he slowly unlocks the lock and opens the door, ready to tell off the person. 

 

Okay, so maybe he regrets not seeing through the peephole now. 

 

“Hey…Chan hyung,” he tries his best to smile (he probably looks really awkward doing so). Just great. The person he didn’t feel like facing the most is here. How pleasant. 

 

Chan smiled. A smile that reached his cheek but not his eyes. Minho really wants to look away but doesn’t. “Hey, Minnie,” 

 

Does Minho miss the way his nickname rolls of Chan’s tongue so easily? Yes. Does he feel sick to the stomach as well? Also, a yes. It’s hard really. He can’t bring himself to fully look into Chan’s eyes but he tries his best to do so. “If you’re looking for Sungie, he’s with Felix for lunch right now,”

 

“Actually, I came here looking for you,” his smile dropped a little. 

 

“F-for me? Uhm…why?” his words are a jumble of mess and he can’t think properly. Why would Chan be looking for him? What could he possibly need from Minho? 

 

“Can I talk to you inside? I’d be awkward to talk like this, and it’s freezing out here.” Minho mentally slaps himself of how stupid he is. He quickly opens the door wider to let the older in, making sure none of his cats were around to escape through the door. 

 

Without a moment to spare, Minho quickly goes to the kitchen and whips up Chan’s favourite hot cocoa. While he does so, he thinks about Chan’s list of favourite foods and drinks that he’d somehow memorize. It really shows how whipped he is. He lets out a quiet breathy laugh, so weak for Chan. Stupid Minho. 

 

He goes back to the living room and finds Chan playing with Dori. He realizes how Chan is wearing just a plain white tee with sweatpants and wonders how he managed to come to Minho and Jisung’s shared apartment wearing something so light, but the image of Chan wearing such a simple outfit, playing with Dori, really tugs his heart and giving him such a domestic atmosphere. Silly Minho. He shouldn’t be having these silly thoughts. 

 

He placed Chan’s beverage on the coffee table before sitting on the other end of the couch. Chan thanked the younger for the hot chocolate and continued to stroke Dori in his arms. Minho wanted to indicate the conversation, but something about facing Chan’s words made him hold back, so he waited till the older started. 

 

“How are you?” 

 

Minho looked up from his hands. It was a simple question, true, but it had a weird after taste with it. “’m good,” he lied. He feels guilty for lying, but the conversation would have a whole different turn if he didn’t. 

 

“Hyunjin told me that you guys are having a showcase soon,” 

 

Minho hummed. He must’ve forgot to tell Chan. Does it really matter? He couldn’t bring himself to look at Chan. He just couldn’t. He doesn’t know where this conversation is heading. 

 

“Dori’s sweater is so cute. Where’d y-“ 

 

“Hyung, please just get straight to the point.” 

 

Minho snapped. He didn’t mean to, but this weird tension in the room was somehow suffocating. 

 

Weird. He didn’t want to know why Chan came in the first place, but now he’s aching to get it over with and maybe he didn’t think through this enough. 

 

Without looking up, Minho could tell that Chan was looking at him, probably with wide confused eyes, but Minho just tried his best to not squirm, feeling uncomfortable with himself. 

 

“Okay then,” there was a slight sharpness to it and Minho grimaced at himself for causing it. “how come you haven’t been hanging out with all of us?” suddenly his tone soft. Chan’s duality was pretty scary. 

 

Minho thought carefully. He had to lie, but somehow have some truth in it. Taking a little too long to answer, Chan added, “Why haven’t you been hanging around with _me _?” the way he emphasized on “me” made Minho feel more guilt pooling in his stomach.__

____

____

 

“I was…busy with the showcase.” He semi-lied. he looked up and he shouldn’t have. Looking at Chan’s pained expression was too much to handle. “Plus, you’re probably busier now too.” 

 

Chan’s eyebrows furrowed. “What’s that supposed mean?” he quirked up an eyebrow. 

 

“Oh, come on, hyung. Don’t try to hide it,” a part of him is telling himself to just shut up, but he kept going. “Why would you waste your time on me when you have someone already. I already know about it all,” he implied about Jimin. 

 

“Know about what, Min?” why is Chan so frustrating? Why did he have such a clueless look? Minho’s been hurt enough, yet letting blood boil inside of him is forcing more hurt upon himself. 

 

Minho stood up, feeling the tension in the room rising, along with his anger. “Stop playing dumb, hyung,” he’s annoyed, whether on Chan or himself, he doesn’t know, but he puts it out all on Chan. He turns around so his back faces Chan as he felt tears prickling his eyes. “Stop being so nice. Stop being so naïve. Why are you being such a goody two-shoes?” 

 

He regrets it the moment it came out. He’s letting his stupid petty feelings get in the way of their friendship and ruining it. 

 

Minho has never hated himself more, yet why does he keep going? 

 

He turned to face Chan, but his eyes weren’t willing to meet the older’s. “Stop hanging out with me. It’s annoying,” _no, he absolutely loves spending time with Chan _. “Atleast you have a girlfriend now to annoy.” It felt so bitter how it rolled off of Minho’s tongue.__

____

____

 

“Minho…”

 

He could see Chan approaching closer, but still, he can’t meet Chan’s eyes. He could see his hands opening up for those heavenly hugs, but Minho, yet again letting his stubbornness get in the way, steps back and forces Chan to get out. 

 

Chan flinched at the sudden volume and stepped back, his arms going down to his sides. 

 

“Well, I’m sorry I ruined your evening,” he walked backwards towards the door and put on his shoes. Minho wants to call out to Chan, regretting every single word that came out of his mouth, apologizing for those bitter words, but his body doesn’t move. “See you around, Minho.” 

 

Minho finally looks up, probably was about to call Chan, but he was too late. The door clicked shut and Minho didn’t realize the rains of tears that already wetted his cheeks. From Chan’s last words, he doubts he’s going to see the older anytime soon. 

 

He’s done it. Not only did he hurt himself even more, but he hurt Chan. 

 

Chan who’s exactly _nothing _as what Minho had said to his face earlier. Chan was the kindest person with the kindest heart. Chan was the shining sun that lit the atmosphere anywhere he goes. Chan was the late night Monday stares Minho would admire. Chan was dimpled smiles and calming laughs. Chan was reassuring hugs and warm hands. Chan was encouraging words and head ruffles. Chan who was the cause of Minho’s raging heartbeat.__

____

____

 

He hurt Chan. 

 

He _hurt _Chan.__

____

____

 

Minho has never felt this sick before. He was hyperventilating, gripping at his hair so hard because he fucked up everything. He bitterly laughs to himself, scaring Dori away. “Lee Minho, you just had to let your stupid, stupid, _stupid _feelings get the better of you, huh?”__

____

____

 

Maybe he did it because it’s for the best. Because it is, isn’t it? He did it for Chan more than he did it for himself. 

 

How he managed to sleep that night, he’s not sure. He was probably so tired and exhausted that his eyelids gave up and took over. He didn’t even sleep in his own room, he cried in Jisung’s room, on Jisung’s bed. He wanted comfort more than ever, even though he knew he didn’t deserve it. 

 

Minho didn’t notice when Jisung came back, but he woke up the next morning with Jisung cuddled up around him, snoring lightly. Memories from the previous day floods his mind. His eyes were probably swollen and red, and he might just add more to the swelling. 

 

He maneuvered their position so that his face was snuggled up against Jisung’s chest. He didn’t want to wake the younger up, but knowing Jisung, the boy was a pretty heavy sleeper. 

 

Wrapping his arms around Jisung’s petite body and holding tighter, Minho sniffed the calming scent of Jisung’s weird mix of detergent and vanilla. Tears welled up. Minho was so familiar with the feeling now and it’s only going to drain all the liquid in his body. 

 

He felt Jisung’s hand stroke his hair, calming and soothing. “Morning, hyung,” Jisung greeted, voice groggy and low. Minho just snuggled closer. He didn’t trust his voice. “I’m sleepy.” He added. And from the soft breaths he heard after a minute, Minho guessed Jisung went back to sleep.

 

He tried following the action. He’s still drained. Minho hopes he sleeps till forever. It’s better that way, right? Soon, Chan will forget him and carry on a much better life without Minho. 

 

He closes his eyes, but it takes such a long time to actually fall into slumber. 

 

Minho sleeps and he doesn’t ever want to wake up.

 

***

 

This time, he didn’t attend classes. 

 

He couldn’t bring himself to go out and possibly face or bump into Chan in any of their shared classes or just passing through the hallway. 

 

The only thing he’s brought himself to do is buy Hyunjin’s gift and that’s about it. He’s pretty much drained till there were no tears left to cry. He just lies on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, having voices of different thoughts go in and out of his mind. 

 

He does that and he forgets how much time passes. He barely eats because he forgets and he doesn’t feel particularly hungry. He also takes it as a punishment in a way of beating himself up. He knows he should be eating; he should be energized up. After all, the showcase is in two days and if he doesn’t fill himself up, he’ll only be causing himself inanition. 

 

Jisung starts to worry a lot and knowing the older, he’d bring food back or force the older to eat with the help of Changbin. 

 

He gets up for their and his dance team’s sake. Even if he wasn’t attending classes at the moment, he should atleast be practicing with them. He looks at the clock and starts to get ready early, knowing that his leisure walking will take it longer to get to the studio. 

 

He also had to do his laundry and refill his cats’ bowls. Wow, he’s spent so much time wallowing in self hate that he feels so guilty letting Jisung do all the work. That realization gives him a source of motivation, promising himself that he’ll make it up to all of his friends back for being such a shit. He’s even going to somehow repay his cats since they had to deal with his annoying cries. 

 

***

 

Changbin and Jisung looked at each other with eyebrows raised. Even from out of the room, they could sense the crestfallen and disgruntled aura that the blonde emitted. To say it was scary was an understatement. 

 

They came in the recording studio, ready to finally vocal out their songs that they’re proud of, but when they came in, greeting Chan, the older only gave an unsettling “Hey,” in return. 

 

Ever since a few days ago, Chan seemed like…not Chan. He wasn’t that much different, but a few of them could tell that something kept prickling him, and it might have something to do with Minho. Now, it’s getting worse. No one knew what had happened, and Chan didn’t look like he’d want to tell them either. 

 

Jisung and Changbin slowly placed their bags by the couch and settled on the chairs beside Chan. 

 

It was few quiet and perturb minutes before Chan just jolts out of his chair, scaring the two younger boys in the process and grunts frustratingly. 

 

“Okay, what the fuck is up with Min?” he looks at Changbin, then at Jisung. Chan must’ve been holding it in for too long. His bucket has been filled and it’s been scarily filled to the top, any little movement will make it spill, and that’s exactly what’s happening. 

 

Changbin and Jisung looked at each other, then at Chan who seemed really impatient. It was very rare to see Chan mad. It’s kind of relieving too, because seeing Chan hold it in wasn’t healthy and made everyone around him worried. 

 

“Hyung, you gotta calm down first,” Jisung told the older. Thinking that it won’t work, Changbin added, “Breath and count to ten.” 

 

Despite what they thought, Chan slumped down onto his chair, looking dejected. He must’ve been struggling with this more than they thought. 

 

“Is this about the song you…”

 

“Yeah, kind of,” he sighed. “Maybe I was wrong. I had a hunch that he could’ve possibly like me, but I guess it was wrong.” His shoulder slumped. The two boys look at the older with pity. 

 

“Give him some time, hyung, and try again, okay?” Jisung gave him a reassuring smile, even though he’s unaware of what situation those two were in. 

 

Changbin nodded, agreeing. He gave a squeeze on Chan’s shoulder and for the first time of the day, Chan smiled. 

 

***

 

“What’s with the gloom, Chan?” Chan looks up to see Woojin bringing their food on the tray. “Is this about Minho?”

 

“When is it not?” he groaned. 

 

Woojin sat down, opening his chopsticks. “When you stress about music, when you stress about work, when you stress about sleeping, when you stress about-“

 

“Okay, I get it,” Chan cut in. Woojin gave a sly grin. 

 

They ate in silence for the next few minutes before Woojin brought out a question. “Are you going to the showcase tomorrow?”

 

Chan took awhile to think. He sighed and shook his head. “No, I doubt he wants to see me, anyway,” 

 

“Chan, you know he would love for you to come,” Woojin tried to reason. 

 

“Would he _really _?” he questions with quirked eyebrows.__

____

____

 

Woojin dropped his chopsticks and payed full attention on Chan. “You know, he probably did that because he was scared. He was afraid and probably doubting himself about his feelings,” 

 

“Well, I guess I understand. But why the sudden outburst? Why did he suddenly start to avoid me?” Chan was so confused. Minho was confusing and Chan doesn’t know what to think.

 

“You know Minho…” his expression saddened a little. “He pulls back when things get too serious, and you know why,” he crossed his arms. 

 

“Mm, I know,” he knows it a little too well. Minho’s afraid. 

 

He’s afraid to take a step forward. He’s afraid that he might make a mistake. He’s afraid he might make the _same _mistake. The thought hurts Chan, but he understands Minho’s fear in a way. He wants to comfort Minho and treat him the way he’s supposed to be treated. Make him have eye-crescent smiles and letting out angelic laughs.__

____

____

 

“I know you don’t want to come to the showcase because of Minho, but at least come for Felix and Hyunjin.” Woojin says. 

 

Chan nodded. He wanted to come, but ever since then, he felt unsure. He’ll come, especially for Felix and Hyunjin. Still, part of him wants to come because of Minho.

 

***

 

Tonight was the night. Minho looked at himself through the mirror. He doesn’t know if he feels good or bad. Probably a horrible mix of both. 

 

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Hyunjin asked him, wrapping his arms around Minho’s waist in a comforting motion. 

 

Minho sighed. “Yeah, I’ll be okay,” he tells it to Hyunjin, but he doesn’t even believe it himself. “By the way, thanks for…for everything,” he gives Hyunjin a smile. 

 

The younger smiled back and gave Minho a tighter squeeze before giving Minho a smack on the cheek, to which Minho responded with “Ew,” but the smile that crept up his lips tells otherwise. 

 

Tonight, their theme was sensual. 

 

Every showcase had a theme for each age group. For the college students, they had a tradition of letting each theme would fitting a member, to let them shine and take the spotlight on the stage at one point of the performance.

 

Tonight supposedly, was Minho’s. 

 

It’s the first time he’s felt so nervous before a showcase. He looks down to his hands. They’re shaking. 

 

He takes deep breaths. He reminds himself that Changbin and Jisung came tonight to cheer him on and it calms him a bit. He reminds himself that the others came too and let’s the thought calm him. 

 

He counts to ten and takes deep breaths. He tells himself that Chan wouldn’t be here because obvious reasons. He tries not to let it bother him. 

 

Changmin sees Minho and gives a sympathetic look. He approaches the boy and asks the same question Hyunjin did. 

 

Minho rolls his eyes with a smile. He appreciates his friends’ worries and could see why, but he tells Changmin that he’ll be okay. Hopefully. 

 

“You guys are on in 5!” the staff called. 

 

He’s practiced this routine more times than he could count. He’s put countless hours with it along with the others and he doesn’t want to let them down. He couldn’t let his life problems affect the others. 

 

Minho inhaled and exhaled. Here he goes.

 

***

 

In the auditorium, the crowd’s chatter began to quiet down as the lights start to dim. All eyes focused on the stage as a group of little kids around the ages of 5 collect in the middle. 

 

Because they were kids, the crowd tried their best to keep a fond face as Baby Shark comes on. 

 

Seungmin nudged on Jeongin’s shoulder. “Hey, it’s your song,” he whispered. 

 

Jeongin scowled the older, but still swayed to the beat of the song. It was catchy, can you blame the boy? 

 

Seungmin giggled and wrapped his arm around the younger. 

 

Soon enough, Felix, Hyunjin and Minho’s team comes up. To say the crowd went crazy was an understatement. It made them a smiling mess of cute giggles. Pretty much all members of this dance team are known all throughout campus. Luckily all the parents of the children have gathered them and went back home.

 

“Oh my gosh, look at Felix. Look. At. Felix.” Jisung almost shouts. Not that he’d be shushed anyway, the whole auditorium was looking forward to their performance, not knowing what to expect. 

 

Changbin, trying to one up Jisung, yells Hyunjin’s name across the auditorium. He could see the said boy giggle from afar and catching Changbin’s eyes, to which the older smiles widely, with teeth showing full on display as a response. 

 

Woojin had to shush them both so that their performance could finally begin.

 

Chan’s eyes are all on Minho. He looks unbearably sexy. From his seat, he could see that Minho wasn’t his usual self and was quite fidgety. He could see him taking deep breaths and trying as much to avoid the crowds’ eyes. Something that Minho never does, still, he looked beautiful under the spotlight. 

 

The five of them got into position and the music was cued. 

 

From blush smiling messes, two seconds into the music, they were staring at the crowd with lidded eyes and slightly parted lips that did a little more than something to their audience. 

 

All eyes were drawn on them as music with heavy base dawns into the auditorium. Their moves began strong and fierce with each dancer synchronizing together, yet having their own style towards that dance. Rhythmic beats flowed through their body.

 

It was alluring. Their eyes darkened and darted towards everyone. It seemed like everyone else in the auditorium was under a spell and couldn’t take their eyes off of the dancers. They impressed everyone with their charm and captivating beauty.

 

“He’s so fucking hot.” Chan hears Jisung whisper, referring to Felix. To see this side of the Australian dancer was sure to bring Jisung into a blushing mess. 

 

They all had a center stage moment, starting with Hyunjin, then Changmin, followed by Felix and Ten. Last but not the least, Minho. It was his solo time and the other four kneeled down so that the spotlight was all on the brunette. 

 

From strong beats of music came heavy and leisure thumps. The music slowed down, and so did Minho’s moves. The audience put all their focus on him, Chan too. His movements were intriguing and magnetic. The way he slowly moves his hand down his body in a body roll motion was seductive. Whistles and calls were heard from the crowd. The fluid motions were mesmerizing.

 

Chan never looked away, never blinked. He couldn’t take his eyes off of Minho with the way he scanned over the crowd, biting his lips while combing a hand through his soft brunette hair and looking at them with lidded eyes. He slowly leaned down, reaching his hands out on the wood, facing the audience while grinding against the floor sinfully. The whole thing was a bewitching sight.

 

It ended with Minho’s hand motioning the other four to rise up. Effortlessly, they all ended the performance with a power move that left everyone breathless. 

 

Once the music stopped, the crowd went absolutely wild. Cheers, whistles, claps and shouts erupted that made the five dancers smile showing their teeth. Even Minho, who’s smile faintly reached his eyes. 

 

The dancer’s eyes examined the sea of people and met with the blonde’s eyes. His smile faltered and he locked it for a second that felt like infinity. Chan thought he could distinctly see a blush that painted beautifully on Minho’s cheek but brushed it off as the play of lights with his eyes. The younger looked down to his feet and Chan hoped he didn’t. He almost forgot about their fight. 

 

Woojin nudged Chan’s shoulder, breaking him from his trance and beckoning him to come down backstage with them to congratulate the dancers.

 

Quite the people were already swarmed near backstage, majority of them being friends or relatives to the dancers. The group of boys were met with the five dancers doing a celebratory hug and happily squealing their excitement out. 

 

When they noticed, Felix jumps on Jisung and the one-day older boy happily catches him in his arms. “Lee Felix, since _when _were you able to move like that?”__

____

____

 

Felix giggled happily and whispered something to Jisung that again, made Jisung blush like crazy till the tip of his ears.

 

Jeongin and Seungmin spotted Hyunjin and suffocated the older boy into a loving hug, complimenting how good he did.

 

“Hey! get away from my boyfriend!” Changbin hissed playfully and doesn’t hesitate to give Hyunjin a bone crushing hug to which the younger (tried to) return with as much love. 

 

“I’m so proud of you two!” Chan tells the two boys. They beam at each of their friends who were there to support them. Woojin ruffles their sweaty hair adoringly. 

 

While they were talking about the choreography of the dance, Woojin looks for Minho, finding him not too far from them. 

 

He was with Ten. The older had his hands on Minho’s shoulders reassuringly. 

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to come to the after party? Everyone’s gonna be there. Even Jinnie and Lixie and probably your friends too,” he tried to persuade. Minho would always go to the after parties and would always take the dancefloor effortlessly. 

 

Minho shook his head. “I’m sure. I just feel like resting for now.” He smiled to Ten, signaling that he’ll be okay. 

 

“Alright,” he sighed. “I won’t force you, but you can always come whenever you feel like it, okay?” 

 

Minho nodded, smiling sheepishly. Ten giggled at the younger and smacked a kiss on Minho’s cheek that made the brunette burst into giggles too. “Oh my God, stop! Now go, you heathen. There’s someone waiting for you.” Minho beckoned behind Ten. A tall figure looks at the two from afar and Ten skips over to Johnny. The taller wrapped his hands around Ten’s petite waste and straight up started to make out right there and then. 

 

Minho scrunched his nose, still giggling. He looks to the opposite side and sees Woojin having his arms open and inviting. He walks up to the older and got enveloped into a warm hug. 

 

“You did so good,” the older tells. 

 

“Obviously,” Minho scoffed. 

 

He pulls back and sees Chan. He freezes when he sees him with an expression he’s never seen placed on the older. He couldn’t read through the expression. He hates it when that happens.

 

Chan approaches closer and Minho has to stop himself from stepping back. To Minho’s surprise, Chan smiles softly. “You were great,”

 

Minho ducks his head down, not wanting Chan to see the blush that sprayed his cheeks. It’s a wonder why Chan even came. He didn’t think he would, and the fact that he saw the choreography of that sensual dance made Minho too embarrassed to face him. “T-thank you,” he stuttered. To be honest, Minho kind of hoped Chan would drool when he saw this performance, but then the argument came and he hoped that Chan didn’t come at all. But he did.

 

“Minho Hyung!” Minho looks up to see where the voice came from but was a little too late when a few bodies attacked him with embraces that squeezed him senseless. He almost fell from the impact. 

 

“I hate you. I can’t believe you danced like that on stage,” Changbin commented with a scrunched nose. Minho smirked at the younger. Felix and Hyunjin attacks him again with a sweaty hug and he hugged them back just as much. There was a lot of hugging going on.

 

Minho smiled. They said he did good and he’ll believe it. 

 

Chan said he did great and he'll believe it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe my hand slipped...
> 
> also NOTE!
> 
> next chap will be the last chap to this story! and the chap after that will be the epilogue!


	8. I like you, no, I think I actually love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well here it is! (i said friday but it's sunday lmaoooo pls forgive me)
> 
> I'm definitely gonna let out a somewhat long note on the epilogue when i'll upload it soon
> 
> Today is also when SKZ will be performing in Houston and I'm a saddie pattie cos i couldn't go :(( I guess i'll be emo for the whole day
> 
> Anyway, enjoy lovelies!

It’s a miracle to have all three of his cats around him. Doongie was sitting on one end of the couch, sleeping, while Soonie was lying down snuggled against Minho’s stomach as he cards his digits through her soft fur. Dori was playing with Minho’s hoodie string, as always. 

 

He has Netflix on with One Punch Man playing because Felix will never shut up about how good the anime is, so why not. He’s 4 episodes into the anime when he hears the door unlocking. 

 

Weird, Jisung shouldn’t be back by now. It’s only 9:34pm. Way too early for him to be back. He should be with the others at the party.

 

Minho raised himself up, careful not to wake Doongie up in the process and looked up towards the door. It takes him more than a second to process. He froze. 

 

“Hyung, what are you doing here?”

 

Chan, who’s untying his shoes, didn’t spare a glance nor a reply. He walks towards the kitchen with two plastic bags in each hand. Minho settles back on the couch. “Good talk,” he whispered to himself. Obviously, Chan won’t be talking to him, but then again, why is he here anyway? This is going to be super awkward.

 

Should he go see what Chan is doing? Or should he just stay here? 

 

Taking too long to decide, Chan walks out of the kitchen with two beverages in hand, places it on the coffee table, and walks back in the kitchen, leaving Minho confused. 

 

He looks at the drinks placed and sees his favourite green tea milkshake with a mango smoothie beside it. His heart skips a beat. He doesn’t know what to think. Feelings are confusing and he’s cried about it. Might as well cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it. But after he cries, he’s weak, so he can’t build a bridge, so it just makes a whole mess of a flood filled with emotions. 

 

Dori jumps off the couch and goes towards the kitchen. Minho is still struck thoughtless on the couch. 

 

Around three minutes passed before Chan finally came out with two plates in hand and Dori perched on his shoulder. Minho had to suppress himself from letting out a laugh. It was kind of funny to see Chan with such a serious expression on with Dori delicately holding onto his shoulder. It was cute though. Incredibly. 

 

He places the plates on the coffee table and Minho could freshly smell waffles being served. It’s his favourite buttermilk waffles that’s been drizzled with maple syrup neatly and Minho guessed whipped cream that he took from the fridge, which was Jisung’s, but oh well. Maybe Chan is secretly a chef.

 

Finally, he settles on the other end of the couch and _finally _looks up at Minho. It’s those eyes again. Those eyes that Minho could never read. Despite the sound of action coming from the television, the room was eerily silent.__

____

____

 

Minho held Chan’s gaze but was really tempted to look away. It was making him feel rather exposed for some odd reason, kind of like how Jimin looked at him at the club the other night. He gulped, not knowing what to do. Even breathing felt hard. 

 

Chan picks up a plate and gives it to Minho who hesitantly receives and proceeding to pick up his own plate and putting it on his lap, still silent. Minho looks down and just from looking at it made him stomach rumble embarrassingly. Minho sighed, hanging his head low. He wasn’t that particularly hungry so he didn’t bother with dinner, but his stomach said otherwise. This was indeed embarrassing. 

 

“Um…w-why aren’t you at the party?” Minho asked, breaking the silence.

 

Chan puts a hand on the arm of the chair and leans his head on it, still holding an intense gaze on Minho. “I could ask you the same thing.” 

 

Minho looks up and truly, he’s stuck on figuring out Chan. The blonde had an earnest look on his face but Minho doesn’t know what to think of. “Why are you here, hyung? You could be at the party having fun, but you’re…here.” 

 

“Didn’t want you to be lonely,” Minho has the urge to just kiss Chan all over but he knows he couldn’t, due to many reasons. It’s like Chan is playing with his heart and he’s just as confused as ever. The only one to blame is Minho right? Just at that moment, Dori jumps in between the two of them and settles there. 

 

For the rest of the time they ate in silence, watching the main character Saitama beating the shit out of his opponents with one punch, Minho’s mind didn’t focus one bit on the anime. He stole glances at Chan who munched on the waffles calmly, still looking unbearable adorable and the domestic feeling didn’t help Minho either. 

 

“I’m not lonely, you know,” Minho slurps on his smoothie after they’ve finished. “I’ve got my kids with me,” beckoning Dori to sit on his lap. 

 

“So, do you want me to leave?” Chan asks with an eyebrow raised. The tone was cold, but a hint of warmness. 

 

“No!” Minho replies without a second thought and puts his milkshake on the coffee table. “I-I mean…no, but I still don’t get why you’re here in the first place,” he’s right. Chan shouldn’t be here. He should be out having fun with the others or spending time with his girlfriend. 

 

Chan scoots closer towards Minho and it made the younger a little nervous. “I came here because I wanted to tell you something.” 

 

Oh shit. It’s gonna be something really bad isn’t it? Fuck. He was internally panicking. 

 

Minho tilted his head to the side, confusion taking over his features and trying to keep his face as calm as possible. “Tell me what?” 

 

Chan leaned even closer, studying Minho and shrugged. “What do you think I’m about to tell?”

 

Minho avoids eye contact. _That you probably don’t wanna hang out with me anymore. That I’m just being a burden to you. That I’m a horrible friend and you’ve wasted a lot of time hanging around with someone like me. That you’re going to end everything here and you’re giving me my favourite waffles and milkshake as a pity gift- _he rambled on in his mind before he stopped himself. He still had a long list of reasons of what Chan would’ve said. One of it was bound to be true. His anxiety ran through his mind faster than flash and it was nerve-wrecking.__

____

____

 

Chan raises his hand to the younger’s chin so that he would face him. Minho didn’t even realize his eyes started to water. He knew Chan would do one of those but the realization was a punch to the gut, bringing his back to reality. 

 

“Minho, I came here because I want to confess something,” he says, looking deep into Minho’s brown alluring eyes. Little did Minho realize that he said those lists of things out loud and that he wants to die in a ditch right now. 

 

Minho mentally and emotionally braces himself. He closes his eyes, not ready.

 

Here it comes where everything finally falls down.

 

Well, it already did. This was the consequence.

 

“I like you, Min,” Chan deadpans. “Like, _like _like you.”__

____

____

 

“That’s not a very funny joke, hyung,” he opens his eyes and it waters more, blurring his vision. 

 

Someone pinch him, please.

 

“I’m not joking,” Chan deadpans. “I like you, a lot,” he says so simply. It must’ve been a dream. How could Chan say something like that? Is this hell? Has he died? 

 

Minho writhes Chan’s hand away and weakly punches the older’s chest in pity. “You can’t just say that…you can’t just waltz in here and say that,” his voice beginning to crack. “You’re supposed to _hate _me. You’re not supposed to buy me dinner and then just say something like that.”__

____

____

 

He grips on Chan’s shirt and fists it in his hands, tears flowing out and dropping like rain. Chan circles his arms around Minho’s body, pulling him closer. Oh, what an emotional mess Minho is. 

 

The blonde brings a hand to raise Minho’s head to face him again. He looks at Minho fondly with a heart-warming smile and it hurts so much. His heart unhealthy skips a beat. “I don’t hate you, Min. I _like _you,” he repeats. “Heck, maybe I even love you, but it’s a little too early to say that,” he chuckles sheepishly.__

____

____

 

Frozen with wide eyes, tears still flowing, he doesn’t believe what he hears. He doesn’t want to believe. Maybe this is hell, but Chan should be in heaven. Honestly, he’s just confused and tired. 

 

Minho shakes his head, trying to deny it all. “No. You-you have a girlfriend…”

 

Chan raises an eyebrow. “Speaking of which, I have no idea who you’re talking about,” he states. 

 

The younger shoots a struck face. “Then, what about Jimin? I saw you giving her flowers and kiss you on the cheek and…” 

 

Chan laughs and Minho misses it so much. “Just because of that, you thought she’s my girlfriend?” he laughs some more and it made Minho embarrassed. Small. “Minnie, firstly, it was her birthday and I gave her a present and she kissed me as a thank you,” he looks at Minho reassuringly. “She’s like an older sister to me.”

 

“But-“ 

 

“And secondly, I don’t think I’ve told you this but I’m gay,” he states matter-of-factly. 

 

Maybe this is a dream. A really confusing one. 

 

Minho wonders about the encounter he had with Jimin that night, putting it away for now and decides to put a mental note to ask Chan about it later. 

 

“I like you, Lee Minho. I like you, a lot,” he repeats yet again. The sound of those words coming out of Chan’s mouth makes his heart do summer saults. He lifts Minho up so that he’s straddling Chan and the older snakes his arm around Minho’s petite waist. “I like the way you smile like a cat. I like how hardworking you are, especially in dance and won’t rest till you get the footwork right. I like how you would do even the littlest things to make the kids smile. I like how you play with your cats and even referring to them as your kids,” Chan chuckled. It swelled Minho’s heart even more. “I _love _the way you dance, how sinful of you, huh?” he leans closer and rubs his nose with Minho’s.__

____

____

 

The younger giggled, fat tears welling up his eyes. He probably looks like a mess right now. His hands were still lightly fisting Chan’s shirt while he intensely stares at the older. It’s still hard to believe if this was real or not. “I like the way your laugh is so contagious and beautiful. I like how you can flawlessly look pretty without even trying. I like the way you’d always make friends but when someone you don’t know approaches you, you become shy. I like-“ 

 

Minho brings a finger to Chan’s lips, quieting him. “I’m going to stop you there, mister, otherwise, I’ll probably explode from how happy I am right now,” Minho was probably blushing from head to toe right now. He’

 

“I also love how cute you look when you’re flushed,” Chan said adoringly. “Can I continue?” 

 

Minho shakes his head. He wasn’t crying as much now but the euphoria bursting inside of him couldn’t help the tears of joy. 

 

“Why? I thought you’d like to be wooed. Is it not working?” he smiled, feigning innocence. 

 

Wooed?

 

Wait a minute. 

 

So, this must’ve been planned all along by those two, huh. 

 

“Oh my gosh, is that why Jimin…” he widened his eyes which earned a chuckle from Chan. Minho is dumb, but what’s new?

 

Chan cards a hand through Minho’s hair, parting it so he could properly look into Minho’s eyes. Chan’s face fall into a more serious expression. He kissed the tear tracks and thumbs his cheekbone. “You’re beautiful when you cry.” 

 

Minho laughs lightly. “I’m sorry…for what I said the other day. I didn’t mean any of it, I swear. You probably came all the way being worried about me,” to which he only pushed Chan away and put his emotions first. “and I just…”

 

Not caring about another word coming out, Chan slowly closes the short distance between them with the feel of Minho’s lips on his own. It was short at first, soft and gentle, sweet and tender. It was everything to Minho. Everything he could ask for. This feels so much better than the party. 

 

Chan slowly pulls back and looks into Minho’s captivating eyes. The brunette snakes his hands around Chan’s neck. This time, Minho was the one to initiate the kiss. It was soft as well, but also deeper. Chan brought Minho impossibly closer till their bodies were flushed against each other. The movements of their lips synching together felt right. Minho is aware that he’s more experienced, but he’d rather let Chan lead. He will never have it any other way.

 

When Chan’s hands found its way under Minho’s shirt, the latter gasped a little, being sensitive with even the slightest touch. The older’s fingers were slightly cold against Minho’s warm skin, somehow, it was relaxing. Chan took this opportunity and slid his tongue in. He’s enjoying the way Chan explores his mouth. Who is he to complain?

 

Chan relished in the taste of Minho’s plump lips. Minho began to lightly tug on Chan’s hair, something he had always wanted to do. At one point, they had to pull apart for air and the two panted. Not sparing another second, they connected their lips again. Maybe this was Minho’s favourite feeling. No, it is his favourite feeling. Sex may be great, but kissing Chan is the world to him. 

 

Chan wasted no time in leading a trail of kisses from Minho’s jaw to his neck. Minho leaned his head to the other side, giving Chan more access as the older began sucking on a spot. It left Minho in whimpers. He’s so sensitive despite always acting bold.

 

The little noises Minho let out were a bliss to Chan, encouraging him to nip harder on Minho’s neck. He bit hard, causing Minho to squirm and let out a moan. Chan licks and kisses the area as an apology. At this point, Minho was just trying hard to control himself. 

 

“Channie…” he calls, sounding so weak already. 

 

“Hmm?” he hummed, still sucking beautiful magenta spots on Minho, proudly knowing it will stay there for atleast a few days. 

 

“Please kiss me,” he begs, to which Chan happily complies. 

 

How long they made out, they didn’t know, they didn’t care. The room got more heated and Minho was loving every single moment of it. He’s flushed when Chan pulls back, cheeks bright red like a tomato, eyes lidded, lips plump with the way Chan bit on it. A blessed sight to Chan. Kissing Chan was addicting and he knows he’ll never get sick of it.

 

Minho giggles, making Chan smile so fondly at him that his heart skips a beat. “I haven’t been this emotionally attached to someone since high school, oh my gosh,” Chan only lightly chuckled. He rubbed soft circles on Minho’s warm skin.

 

Before they could continue their make-out session, a ball of fur jumps in between them, landing on Chan’s shoulders. It would’ve seemed fine until Dori started aggressively pawing at Chan’s mouth. The younger boy dissolves into laugh. 

 

Chan struggles trying to get the kitten off as he tries to avoid her soft yet threatening paws. She jumps on Minho, snuggling up against him. 

 

“Dori,” Chan wipes his mouth (probably filled with fur) with his sleeve. “Why would you betray me like that?” 

 

Minho, still in laughter, hugged Dori closer. “She probably thought you were attacking me,” he brought Dori to his face and nuzzled their nose together. “Isn’t that right, Dori? You were only trying to protect me.” 

 

Chan sighed, but he couldn’t bring himself to blame the kitten. 

 

Minho sits back beside Chan, putting the kitten in between them. Minho looks up to Chan and gives a peck right on the lips. The younger wanted their make-out session to continue, but when he leaned in, Chan pulled back, making the younger pout, erupting laughter from Chan. 

 

“Minnie baby, as much as I want to continue this, you need to rest, it’s been a long day,” Chan tells him. Minho feels fuzzy with the nickname. “And I don’t think you want any action from…” he beckoned to his lips, puckering them. “this.” 

 

“Okay…but can I get one more kiss?” he pleads. 

 

Chan smiled and leaned in. Minho closes his eyes, expecting Chan’s pair of lips to meet his, but instead feeling it on his nose. 

 

Minho opens his eyes, confused. “Hey, what was that?” he whined. 

 

“I never said I’d kiss you on the lips,” Chan slyly smirked. But of course, Minho was too cute to resist, especially with his pouted plump lips on display, ready and inviting. Chan gave a chaste kiss on the lips happily, satisfying Minho. 

 

Keeping his promise, Minho settles to Chan’s side, leaning his head on the older’s shoulder. Chan’s left hand was carding through Minho’s hair while the other was combing Dori’s fur. He wonders which cat is cuter. 

 

Before he knows it, along the way they watch in comfortable silence, Chan hears soft breaths being emitted and looks down to see Minho fast asleep. Dori was asleep too. He chuckles to himself about how similar these two are. 

 

Slowly (with some difficulty of trying to not wake Dori up), Chan nudges Minho to wake up and whispers to him to sleep in his room. Not even opening his eyes, the younger made grabby hands at Chan. The older sighs and clipped a hand under his knees and his torso, carrying him up bridal style. 

 

He gently carries Minho to his room and slowly puts him down on his bed and dragging his comforter to put it over the boy. Chan was about to go back out when Minho lightly grabbed Chan’s hand. 

 

“Sleep with me, please?” he softly asks. Chan leans down and combs Minho’s hair to the back. 

 

“I’m just getting Dori, I’ll be right back, okay?” he reassures. 

 

“Okay,” he sleepily mumbles. 

 

Chan goes back to the living room and turned off the television and get Dori, who was still sound asleep. As quiet and delicately as possible, Chan collects her in his arms and brings her towards Minho’s room. 

 

It seems that Minho already made space for Chan as he’s scooted to the side. Minho wakes up to the sound of his foot steps and sat up, holding out his hands to get the little kitty. He places her on one side, making her comfortable and beckons Chan to lay on the other side. Luckily, Minho had a queen bed so there was a lot of space left. 

 

Chan got in the comforter and positioned themselves so that he was spooning Minho from behind, letting a hand circle his waist and holding on tightly. Minho puts his hand over Chan’s and intertwined their hands together, fitting perfectly. 

 

“Goodnight, baby.” Chan whispers, leaving a kiss on Minho’s ear. The younger giggled. 

 

“Sweet dreams, Channie.” He murmured. He absolutely loved the nicknames and it did something to him. 

 

For the first time in nights, Minho didn’t fall asleep from heart piercing tears that soaked his pillows. 

 

***

 

Rays of sunlight seep through the curtains. Waken up from the smell of something that perks his nose, Chan flutters his eyes open. 

 

He feels a little weight on him and takes time to properly process reality again. He looks on the tiny furball that rests on his stomach and chuckles lightly. He looks around, feeling unfamiliar with his surroundings. 

 

_Minho _. He reminds himself. The blonde looks to his side, expecting to see another familiar body, but finds no one. He sits up, careful not to wake Dori up and gives her a scratch to the ear that erupted calming purrs.__

____

____

 

Getting up, he heads to the bathroom first to wash his face. He finds a spare toothbrush with a note, saying _‘For Channie’s pearly whites <3’ _and smiles.__

____

____

 

Once he gets out, he lets the smell of…pancakes (?) lead him. 

 

Of course, he finds Minho with a cute apron on, back facing him while he lightly dances to a song he’s humming to. _Cute _.__

____

____

 

“Morning,” he latches onto Minho with a back hug, snaking his hands around Minho’s waist. “What’s cooking, good looking?” 

 

Minho jumps at the sudden greeting, surprised. “G-good morning,” Chan could tell that he’s semi not used to this yet. “You woke up just in time.” 

 

Chan gave Minho a kiss on the cheek that he could tell the younger became flushed for. Gosh, Minho was so adorable. The fact that he can do that whenever he wants now is the best thing ever. Flushed Minho is best Minho.

 

Minho settles the pancakes on a plate for Chan and does the same for himself, careful to not burn himself. Chan brings the plates to the table and when they started to eat, it was a comfortable silent of the two stealing glances at each other with smirks and smiles and giggles. 

 

While Minho was chewing, Chan wondered a little how it all got to this. 

 

He couldn’t really pinpoint exactly when his feelings for Minho began to develop. It was a snap, and then boom! He didn’t even realize it until Woojin told him to stop staring at Minho everytime they met. Maybe it was the way they would have Movie Monday and Minho would always be cuddling with Chan, one of his cats on his lap. Maybe it’s the way Minho’s smile lights up the city when Chan gets him his favourite green tea milkshake. Maybe it’s the way Minho looks so flawlessly beautiful with whatever he wears of does. Maybe it’s the way his eyes were always captivated to Minho with his dancing. Maybe it’s the way Minho’s smile tugs when Chan smiles at him. 

 

“Hyung?” Minho waved a hand in front of his face. 

 

He snapped out of his reverie, looking back up to Minho. He really wanted to melt at how soft the younger looked with his hair being a little messy and his shirt hanging loosely off his shoulders. 

 

“Are you okay?” he asks looking concern. 

 

Chan nodded. “How are you doing?” 

 

Minho seems taken back by the sudden question. He tilts his head in that cute way when he’s confused. “I’m jolly?” he answers unsure. 

 

Chan lets out a chuckle. “Sorry, the question sounds pretty vague. I mean how do you feel about this?” he doesn’t want to pressure Minho into this. That’d be the last thing he wants right now. “We can take this slow and go at your own pace. We’ll do whatever you want, as long as you’re comfortable with it,” if he wants this to work, he needs to keep Minho in a comfortable position, no matter how much it takes. He’s willing. 

 

“Thanks, hyungie,” Minho blushes. “I appreciate that a lot,”

 

“Drop the honorifics, I like the way you call my name.”

 

“So, _Channie _, is this official now?”__

____

____

 

“I’ll do the honors,” Minho looks at him yet again with that cute confused look. 

 

Chan stands up and goes to the other side of the table and proceeding to kneel down, taking Minho’s hand into his. “Lee Minho, the most beautiful and ethereal person in the whole universe, will you be my boyfriend?” 

 

Minho suppresses a laugh and nods, wiping a fake tear for dramatic effects. “I’d love to,” Chan was about to stand back up again when Minho grabbed him down, expression becoming more serious. “I need to properly apologize as well.” 

 

“Min, you know you don’t have-“ 

 

“No, I do,” he cuts. “What I said the other day was unacceptable. I was being a jerk and an asshole and I hurt you, and you still came to the showcase and brought dinner yesterday…and also this,” he beckoned their linked hands. “I was being a coward too and you’re always the sweetest boy ever, do I deserve you?” 

 

“I question myself if I deserve _you _. Plus, I already forgave you yesterday, you know?”__

____

____

 

“I won’t accept your forgiveness until I’ve earned,” he deadpans, looking serious but Chan just coos. 

 

The older beams, giving up in trying to argue back and stands up, kissing Minho on the cheek as he takes the plates away to wash. 

 

While waiting, Minho sits on the counter beside the sink, humming to a happy tune. Chan washes his hands when he’s done and stands in between Minho’s legs, placing his hands on Minho’s thighs. 

 

“By the way, how’d you even get in here yesterday?” Minho cups his face. 

 

“Sungie gave me his keys. I bumped into him when he was on the way to the after party and he gave it to me.” 

 

“Guess I owe him a lifetime of free cheesecakes, huh?” 

 

Chan brings his hand up and down Minho’s thighs, enjoying the start of their honeymoon phase. 

 

“Wow, you’re my boyfriend. I’m your boyfriend. Wow, how’d I get so lucky?” Chan wonders. He looks at Minho with so much affection that Minho has to remind himself that this is all real as he brings the older closer for a kiss. 

 

“Guess you’re stuck with me now,” he winked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not rlly good in kissing scenes but i tried
> 
> If there are any plot holes, pls inform me! But i just hope y'all enjoyed it :D
> 
> Thank you for those who have been keeping up until now, or just started reading, i hope it wasn't too bad 
> 
> Lots of love from me :')


	9. Epilogue: I love you

**2 years later. ******

********

********

 

Chan collapses on the couch, body feeling absolutely sore.

 

Minho peeks his head from the kitchen, hearing the front door closing and a tired Chan splayed on the couch. “Welcome back, Channie,” he greeted. 

 

“What's cooking, good looking?” he groans, shifting on the couch. “Smells delicious,” 

 

Minho smiled and came out the kitchen to give Chan a kiss. He looked so cute with that apron on. “samgyeopsal-gui with fried rice. I just finished, actually,”

 

“Can I eat it now?” 

 

Minho giggled. “Not yet, love. You reek of sweat, so go shower,” he tried to drag Chan up.

 

The older groaned, not able to muster the energy that already left his body. “But I’m too tired,” he whined. 

 

“Okay, how about I feel up the tub so you can take a bath and I’ll help wash your hair for you?” 

 

Chan seemed pleased with the suggestion and smirked. “Are you gonna join me?” 

 

Minho never responded, only trudging to the bathroom with his lips tugged into a smile.

 

***

 

“Chan! The bath is ready now!” 

 

The said boy strolls into the bathroom with Dori, now all grown up now. Minho watches with hearts in his eyes. Chan playing with his, no, _their _cats always makes Minho have other imaginations. The blonde is really good with kids too.__

____

____

 

Minho measures the temperature of the water and pours soap to get the bubbles while Chan strips out of his clothes. It’s definitely not the first time Minho has seen Chan naked, but he still avoids to look at Chan because he can feel his face heating up. He hides his face in his hands.

 

(Minho peeks just a little through his fingers).

 

“Are you sure you don’t wanna join me?” Chan asks again. He was stripped till his boxers. Minho couldn’t answer as he was too distracted with the sight in front of him. Chan noticed and smirked. “Like what you see?” 

 

The younger teared his eyes away, feeling embarrassed. "You're so full of yourself."

 

Chan chuckled and gave a kiss on the cheek. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” 

 

“Hurry up and get in while I’m not looking,” Minho’s face was bright red. No matter how many times he’s seen Chan’s body, it still makes his face heat up and his head go dizzy. 

 

Chan leaned against the tub, sighing as the hotness of the water relaxes his muscles. Minho took the shower arm and showered Chan’s hair wet. He grabbed the shampoo bottle only for it to be empty. 

 

“Didn’t you buy an extra bottle?” Chan asks.

 

“Oh, you’re right,” he stood and went to the cabinets, retrieving it. 

 

He was eyeing the product when he didn’t notice Chan’s clothes splayed on the floor, and tripped. 

 

A volcano of soapy water drenched everything. 

 

“If I didn’t catch you, you would’ve probably hit your head,” Chan chuckled. 

 

Minho flicked his now wet hair and looked at Chan with death in his eyes. “If you put your clothes in the laundry basket, I wouldn’t even be wet right now.” He looks around the tub, water splashed everywhere and making the floor and Chan’s dispersed clothes wet. “This is gonna be such a bitch to clean,” he sighed. 

 

“At least you’re bathing with me now,” Chan smiled, looking on the brighter side. 

 

As much as Minho wants to be mad, he couldn’t. He placed a fat kiss on Chan’s lips. “Idiot,” 

 

Minho took off his clothes too and throws it into the laundry basket. He reaches out for the shampoo bottle he dropped and poured a generous amount on his hand. “Turn around,” the older complied and he reaches up to scrub Chan’s hair. 

 

The older sighed. It felt so relaxing and refreshing as Minho’s small fingers brushed his hair and massaged his scalp. “Hey, I’ve said this before and I’m gonna say it again, but I’m so glad we finally moved in together. It’s really nice to come back from work and be greeted by you with a kiss. I’m always drained when I come back, but cuddles and kisses charge me up and it always makes me happy,”

 

Minho smiles fondly, although Chan can’t see it. He leans closer and circles his arms around Chan’s body as he places little kisses on Chan’s shoulder. “I’m really happy too, especially when I wake up in the morning and your beautiful face is the first thing I see. It’s such a great way to start my day,” 

 

Chan turns around and brings Minho on his lap so that the younger straddles him. He watches as Minho continues scrubbing his hair, but he’s playfully styling it now. “Your roots are growing a lot now, are you going to dye it again?” he looks through the brunette roots that catches his eyes through Chan’s silver hair.

 

“Mm…what do you think, love?” he hummed.

 

Minho shrugs. “You’ve gotten your hair dyed on all the colors on the rainbow,” 

 

“Should I get an undercut? Or a mohawk?” Minho giggles at the suggestions. 

 

“Maybe you should grow out your natural hair, it’s beautiful,” 

 

Both mirrored satisfied smiles, but Chan’s one falters a little when his hand brushes across the scar on Minho’s stomach. Minho, feeling insecure, pushes Chan’s hand away. 

 

“Why are you worried, love?” Chan reassures, his smile bringing light to the atmosphere. 

 

Minho shrugs with uncertainty. He’s gotten that scar ever since he was a child from the surgery he had. He’s afraid that if people were to know, they’d be disgusted. He didn’t always feel that way, he knew how accepting people are these days, and it’s getting better, but ever since his ex started shaming him for how ugly it is, he couldn’t help but feel insecure. This was the main reason why he doesn’t want to lift his shirt during performances.

 

The older brings their body flushed against each other, with a hand to cup Minho’s face to properly look at him. He could tell that Chan noticed how much he wanted to look away, but he didn’t say anything about it. “I think it’s beautiful, sweetheart,” he reassures. “ _You’re _beautiful,”__

____

____

 

And Minho believes him, because it’s Chan, and he never lies. He’s always truthful about everything, and Minho doesn’t have a drop of doubt about it. He loves this boy so much that it hurts.

 

Chan smiles and smacks a kiss. Minho’s lips are so addicting and he could make out with the younger all day. 

 

Sadly, their little moment was ruined when Doongie constantly meowed for food. 

 

***

 

Bellies full and hair dried, the two of them are splayed in Chan’s, which is now turned into _their _shared bedroom, cuddling.__

____

____

 

“Remember when you just moved in?” Chan asks, fingers rubbing soothing motions on Minho’s waist. 

 

“When you left me alone on the first day?” Minho grumpily remarks. 

 

Chan chuckles. “I had a little something to do,” Minho kept a straight face. “Don’t you remember? It was…” 

 

_Minho wipes the sweat off of his face, finally getting the last box into his room. He’s settled some stuff inside already, and he’s proud of it. Sadly, that pride goes away when he sees the remaining boxes he still has to unpack._

____

____

 

_“Minnie!” Chan runs up into the room and swoops Minho up, spinning him around while Minho tries to get him to stop. Suddenly, he felt nauseous and damn, sometimes he forgets how strong his boyfriend is. ___

____

____

 

_The older tries to kiss him but he avoids it at all costs. As much as he’d love to reciprocate the kiss, he needs to hold himself back because…he’s super sweaty and he wants to shower first._

____

____

 

_“Wait, lemme take a shower first, please,” he begs, trying to pull away from Chan. He wants to be clean when he could finally give all the love to Chan in their shared apartment. When Minho pulled away, the older pouted. Minho wanted so much to coo, but the faster he showered, the faster he can give Chan kisses. “Not yet, okay? I’ll be quick,”_

____

____

 

_He swoops in the bathroom and takes half an hour to thoroughly clean himself._

____

____

 

_“Chaaaaan!” Minho comes fresh out of the bathroom, ready for his boyfriend to embrace him and for him to attack Chan with kisses, only to be met with silence._

____

____

 

_He frowns, looking around, then room to room, then asking his cats. No signs of Chan._

____

____

 

_Getting worried, he fishes out his phone and has speed dial on Chan’s number, but he hears the ring from the dining table and frustratingly sighs, wondering wherever Chan went, why did he not bring his phone with him? ___

____

____

 

_Maybe he’s just taking a small trip to the mailbox? Or to get more cat litter from 2 blocks down?_

____

____

 

_He tries to calm himself down and seats himself a few steps from the front door, patiently waiting. He couldn’t have gone that long right? ___

____

____

 

_Before he knew it, it’s been almost an hour since he came out of the shower. Minho still sits there, leaning against the wall, mustering up the decision to just go out and find Chan himself, but stops when he hears the jingle of keys from the other side._

____

____

 

_He breathes out a sigh of relief to see Chan with a giddy expression as he opens the door. Maybe Minho has lost his sanity. He shoots up and jumps on Chan who barely caught him. “Geez, don’t just disappear on me like that, you idiot,”_

____

____

 

_“Hm? What do you mean? I was only gone for like 15 min…” Chan probably looked at the clock to see that he was definitely not gone for just 15 minutes. “Oh, has that much time passed?”_

____

____

 

_Minho pulls back and cups Chan’s face, gently but also frustratingly placing a kiss right on the lips. “W-welcome home,” he nervously said. “Please tell me next time where you’re going. Or at least bring your phone with you,”_

____

____

 

_Chan didn’t respond, only looking lost in Minho’s eyes with an expression Minho can’t tell the meaning of. “Chan?”_

____

____

 

_The older boy smiles and brings out a bouquet of varieties of maroon colored lilies from behind his back. Minho gasps, how did Chan know lilies were his favourites? They’re so beautiful. “Sorry to worry you, sweetie. Can I attack you with my love now?” to which he got a crescent eyed smile nod._

____

____

 

_“Uhm, are you hungry? I can cook something, y’know,” Minho asks after a short make up session. He wonders why he’s so nervous. Maybe the thought of moving in with his boyfriend is still processing in his head. Being honest, he was scared to make that decision. He’s heard so much about couples going into the cohabitation stage only for them to fall apart in the end, but he knew that if they had any troubles or concerns, they would talk to each other about it._

____

____

 

_Chan smirks, leaning against the kitchen island with his hands crossed. “Hmm? Are we playing newlyweds?” ___

____

____

 

_Ah, is that was this was? Is that what it felt like?_

____

____

 

_Immediately, red blushes his face. “I-I was just-,” he doesn’t even know what he’s trying to say._

____

____

 

_“I was thinking of ordering take-out, but having home-made food is so much better,”_

____

____

 

_And Minho’s face lights up at that. Maybe he could get used to this._

____

____

 

“When you said “Welcome home”, I felt…like this burst of euphoria, and I couldn’t stop smiling for the whole night,” he emphasized with his hands in the air. “And I thought that everytime I come home and you’re doing even the simplest things like cooking or doing the laundry or feeding the cats, it felt like I could do anything as long as you’re there. It never felt like that with my old roomie, but when you moved in, I’ve never felt so happy to come home.”

 

Minho listened tentatively, combing his digits through Chan’s silky hair, every word sparking another beat in his heart, flowing with so much love. 

 

Chan continued, “I’ve come to realize that home is not where we live, but _who _we live with,” he looks up to Minho who mirrors his fond smile. “Wherever you go, I’ll be there with you, because you are my home,”__

____

____

 

“Are you semi-proposing?” Minho asks. He wants to put on a smug grin, but when those very words left Chan’s lips, the tender smile is all he can put on. And maybe he hopes that Chan _will _pop the question one day.__

____

____

 

“And what if I am?” Chan leans up to place a kiss on Minho’s nose. 

 

The younger boy giggled, and the way his eyes crinkle in crescents is something Chan could never get used to. “You missed,” 

 

If Chan had only a few minutes to live, he’d spend it on kissing Minho till the last second. And even if he did die, Minho’s kisses would probably bring him back to life, because, well…it’s Minho’s kisses. Won’t you agree? 

 

“Come back in a few years with a ring and those lilies again, yeah?” 

 

“I don’t care how many years it takes, I’ll always be waiting for you,” Chan feels the butterflies fluttering in his stomach with the way Minho looks at him. 

 

“Gosh, what did I do in my past life, or this life to get so lucky?” Minho asks himself, but it was meant for Chan anyway. 

 

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking that?” Chan hooks a finger on Minho’s chin and leads his lips to his own, an affectionate kiss, slow and warm. Chan gets up on his elbows and places his hand on either side of Minho’s head, hovering above the younger. 

 

There was a sense of déjà vu, like the time they kissed when they made up. Minho’s hair disarrayed, lips pretty, pink, and plump from Chan’s biting, mouth slightly parted, letting out long drawn breaths. 

 

Minho snakes both hands around Chan’s neck, playing with his hair. Even in the quiet room, he whispers, “I love you so much. I love you to the moon and back and back to the moon.” 

 

Chan chuckles. Being cute, adorable and beautiful all at the same time is something only Minho can do. “Don’t start a battle you know you can’t win,” he challenges. 

 

“Oh? Can you really top my love?” Minho fires back. 

 

Chan confidently nods. “I don’t need to go to heaven to find an angel.” 

 

“Well guess what? I can hold the whole world in my hands,” Minho cups Chan’s face and he could tell how much the older was resisting from laughing so much.

 

“Do you have a map because I keep getting lost in your eyes,”

 

“I love you more than I love Soongie and Doongie,” Chan raised an eyebrow, beckoning him to finish that sentence. “And Dori,” 

 

Back and forth, they shot vows, pick up lines, and other mushy lovey-dovey quotes, but since it started with Minho, Chan had to finish it. 

 

“You may love me to the moon and back and back to the moon, but I love you to infinity and beyond…and back.” 

 

And for once, Minho didn’t mind losing. He couldn’t focus on it when he already had his whole world and universe right in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well that wraps things up! i'm sorry its super duper late, but i traveled back to my home country and wasn't able to bring my laptop but i was aching to write something so i used my cuzn's laptop to write that minsung fic
> 
> Thank you for reading! I feel like this was an experiment in developing my writing. Some parts im happy about, some not really but i had fun writing this!
> 
> <3

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading this trash <3 and feedback is well appreciated
> 
> HopE ya have a great day/night :)


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